Why do you love steam convos?

[Fantaboi]

(Over voice chat)
Fantasmos: "I think the biggest problem with this map, is the lack of a glass box"
Bakscratch: "But it has a slide, does your map have a slide?"

 

[Yacan1]

10:22 PM - noodle: holy fucking hell
10:22 PM - Yacan1: ?
10:22 PM - noodle: ive spent so long debugging this code
10:22 PM - noodle: only to find its valves fault
10:22 PM - noodle: for spelling their files wrong
10:22 PM - noodle: engineer_paincrticialdeath02.wav
10:22 PM - noodle: crticial

whoops

 

[Seba]

When TF2 starts up it downloads the spray of the user currently logged into steam, and tells you about it in the console, ending with a nice big SUCCEESS message; Valve aren't too careful with their typing it seems

 

[Harribo]

02:51 - Idolon: wow
02:51 - Idolon: valve's attention to detail never fails to amaze me
02:51 - stegarootbeer is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.
02:51 - Mystyc Cheez: Why?
02:51 - stegarootbeer: what this time?
02:51 - Idolon: so presumably 2fort takes place in the midwest
02:52 - Mystyc Cheez: Yeah?
02:52 - Idolon: and the clock model, by default, is set to about 3:05 pm
02:52 - DOINKATRON 5000 is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.
02:52 - Idolon: and the sun is set to a pitch of -45
02:52 - Idolon: i checked, the sun would be at that angle at that time in that location
02:52 - Mystyc Cheez: nerd
02:53 - Tumbolisu: dude
02:53 - Idolon: (in may)
02:53 - Mystyc Cheez: But nice, that's crazy
02:53 - Idolon: or august
02:53 - DOINKATRON 5000: the clock on the punch-card model is set to 8:20, though
02:53 - Idolon: scratch that, may or september
02:53 - Idolon: wait really
02:53 - Idolon: haha
02:53 - Idolon: okay nvm fuck valve

 

[Seba]

21:52 - Layl: Does anyone here happen to know how I can create a nice efficient hash for use in hash tables from 3 integers
21:52 - Seba (4): why is egan not nice
21:52 - Sebа (1): tf2coders.net
21:52 - Seba (4): i like that fellow
21:52 - Sebă: psst
21:52 - Seba: seba does, layl
21:52 - Sebă: YM is in here
21:52 - Sebа (1): egan is nice
21:52 - Seba: ask him
21:53 - Sebа (1): ym sometimes isnt
21:53 - Seba (5): *sarcasm*
21:53 - Seba (5): I am the true seba
21:53 - Seba (4): *internet*
21:53 - Seba: ha, one of you is ingame
21:53 - Seba (5): How did I get seba
21:53 - Seba: the real seba doesn't play steam games http://cdn.steamcommunity.com/economy/emoticon/B1
21:53 - Sebа (1): another one bites the dust
21:53 - Sebа (1): yea
21:53 - Sebă: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHICH ONE IS REAL
21:53 - Seba (5): I'm like the 7th Seba
21:53 - Sebа (1): battlefield is where its at
21:53 - Seba: the real one plays BF4
21:53 - Seba (5): Yet I don't have a number
21:53 - Seba: so doom's out
21:53 - Seba (5): I'm the real Seba
21:53 - Seba (2): poops
21:53 - Psy: it is easy to tell which is the true sbea
21:54 - Berry: this reminds me of the time we were all umb
21:54 - Sebа (1): bf4 is cool
21:54 - Seba: you're 5 for me, element
21:54 - Sebă: you never have a number as yourself
21:54 - Sebа (1): wat
21:54 - Sebа (1): D:
21:54 - Seba has changed their name to Idolon.
21:54 - Seba (2): boops
21:54 - Seba (2): lol
21:54 - Seba (4): has the real Seba said anything recently
21:54 - Idolon: look at me I'm idolon and I build my buildings from the top down
21:55 - Sebа (1): no
21:55 - Seba (5): If you are the real Seba then you don't have a number or accent mark
21:55 - Seba (2): look at me im seba and i impersonate other people
21:55 - Seba (5): <--
21:55 - Sebа (1): <--
21:55 - Seba (5): Stop impersonating me guys
21:55 - Seba (2): <--
21:55 - Idolon: <--
21:55 - Seba (5): http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=294150800
21:55 - Sebа (1): --->
21:55 - Seba (5): Now its Idolon?
21:55 - Seba (4): wow Seba stop using bot accounts
21:55 - Seba (5): ^
21:55 - Seba (5): ||
21:55 - Seba (5): ||
21:55 - Berry: isn't admin impersonation against the rules
21:55 - Sebа (1): seba ddosin tf2m
21:55 - Seba (2): :^)
21:55 - Sebа (1): ban him
21:55 - Seba (5): -
21:55 - Seba (5): |
21:55 - Seba (5): |
21:55 - Seba (5): v
21:55 - Idolon: please stop
21:56 - Sebа (1): u a fake idolon i dont trust u
21:56 - Idolon: good
21:56 - Idolon has changed their name to Seba.
21:56 - Sebа (1): thne again
21:56 - Seba: why should you trust me

 

[Shogun]

 

[Egan]

8:20 PM - the ghostly presence of abp: Hey guys
8:20 PM - the ghostly presence of abp: remember to miss me
8:20 PM - the ghostly presence of abp left chat.
8:21 PM - Ammy: who were we meant to miss again

 

[Ælement]

People on youtube being rude.

You can whoohee me anytime Idolon <3

 

[Psy]

20:56 - Axio: cube generation is perty simple
20:56 - Axio disconnected.
20:57 - Seba: staying connected to steam isn't

 

[Fantaboi]

Today we learnt the important lesson of how clan names can derail chat.

[Moist] Friendly Fluttermoth entered chat.
-Random Chat-
[Moist] Friendly Fluttermoth: Hi everyone
-Random Chat-
[Moist] Friendly Fluttermoth: I need help

**later, when asked what help he needs**

[Moist] Friendly Fluttermoth: Mapping
[N]shadowslasher11X: lol
Noizeblaze: Moist is a horrible word.
[Moist] Friendly Fluttermoth is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.
Freyja: What makes a word horrible anyway
Littleedge entered chat.
worMatty: Moist and delicious.
[N]shadowslasher11X: Everytime I think of moist I think of...I'm just going to stop there...
::Egan::: such a long vowel
[Moist] Friendly Fluttermoth: Its my clan name and please don't be mean about our Moist name
Auwi: I am very moist
[N]shadowslasher11X: I want to touch that Moist name of yours.
Noizeblaze: Blegh.
worMatty: Moist reminds me of soil. Or cakes.
stegarootbeer: everyones just jumping on the moist hate bandwagon
[Moist] Friendly Fluttermoth: Ok can we stop talking about the name of my clan?

 

[Ælement]

I was talking about some noob encounters with a friend. Thought maybe someone else would get a kick from hearing the tales of newishness.

Spoiler

03:21 - Dr. Ælement: let me sum up what i saw today
03:21 - Dr. Ælement: on viaduct
03:21 - Dr. Ælement: well
03:21 - Dr. Ælement: for the first part, there was 4 snipers and 3 spies on my team at the same time
03:21 - Dr. Ælement: i got behind a sniper, and saw a friendly spy
03:22 - CookieMasterz: solid
03:21 - Dr. Ælement: and i thought i'd let him stab
03:21 - Dr. Ælement: so
03:21 - Dr. Ælement: i watch
03:21 - Dr. Ælement: and he runs up
03:22 - Dr. Ælement: runs past him while flinging his knife all over the place
03:22 - Dr. Ælement: stops dead when he realized he ran past
03:22 - Dr. Ælement: runs backwards
03:22 - Dr. Ælement: then to the side
03:22 - Dr. Ælement: then turns 30 degrees so he can finally stab the oblivious sniper
03:23 - CookieMasterz: wow
03:22 - Dr. Ælement: it all took about four seconds
03:22 - Dr. Ælement: and he never let go of mouse1
03:23 - CookieMasterz: yes
03:23 - Dr. Ælement: when i respawned, i found the same spy knifing a barrel at spawn
03:23 - CookieMasterz: omg
03:24 - CookieMasterz: we need
03:24 - CookieMasterz: to do that
03:24 - CookieMasterz: <redacted> thinks hes mlg medic
03:24 - CookieMasterz: and then
03:24 - CookieMasterz: our last game, i was specing him
03:24 - CookieMasterz: and he got butterknifed to death
03:24 - CookieMasterz: with an uber
03:23 - Dr. Ælement: oh god
03:24 - CookieMasterz: i was in shock
03:24 - Dr. Ælement: just
03:24 - Dr. Ælement: why would you
03:24 - Dr. Ælement: wanna hear another thing that happened on the server?
03:25 - Dr. Ælement: i was standing behind the point
03:25 - CookieMasterz: yes
03:25 - CookieMasterz: pls
03:25 - Dr. Ælement: you know, viaduct has a hill thingy in the middle
03:25 - Dr. Ælement: so yeah, there i am
03:25 - CookieMasterz: yes
03:25 - Dr. Ælement: there's 3 snipers and a demo on the point
03:25 - Dr. Ælement: from the other side, a pyro comes running
03:25 - Dr. Ælement: straight at me
03:25 - Dr. Ælement: i'm busy shooting at a scout btw, so i'm out of ammo
03:25 - Dr. Ælement: and he runs past the point
03:26 - Dr. Ælement: the demo starts shooting pills and misses all of them
03:26 - Dr. Ælement: the snipers all run around in circles with their knifes trying to hit the pyro who's clearly running the other way
03:26 - Dr. Ælement: and he runs straight at me and kills me right as i reload the first rocket
03:27 - CookieMasterz: omg
03:27 - CookieMasterz: im imaniging it all
03:27 - CookieMasterz: brilliant
03:27 - CookieMasterz: i love tf2
03:27 - Dr. Ælement: it's just like
03:27 - Dr. Ælement: wtf are some of these guys playing on
03:28 - CookieMasterz: that is
03:27 - Dr. Ælement: i saw a pyro yesterday whose aim was as bad as the spy's
03:28 - CookieMasterz: solid
03:28 - CookieMasterz: how
03:28 - CookieMasterz: HOW
03:27 - Dr. Ælement: he'd run close to an enemy and start spraying fire
03:28 - Dr. Ælement: he'd usually not bother to point the flamethrower at the enemy first
03:28 - CookieMasterz: what
03:28 - Dr. Ælement: and he'd always stand still before he started shooting
03:28 - CookieMasterz: that is
03:28 - CookieMasterz: amazizng
03:29 - CookieMasterz: im laughing so hard
03:28 - Dr. Ælement: worst thing is
03:28 - Dr. Ælement: i saw with my own eyes how he battled an equal
03:28 - Dr. Ælement: only this guy would stand still on a ledge and try to snipe with the flamethrower
03:29 - Dr. Ælement: so he'd stand on that ledge and point at the enemy and just fart flames in his general direction while the other pyro tried to move up to him
03:29 - Dr. Ælement: and i swear, the movement was like seeing a truck
03:30 - Dr. Ælement: *BEEP BEEP* BACKWARDS GEAR
03:30 - Dr. Ælement: *BEEP BEEP* FORWARD
03:31 - CookieMasterz: <redacted> is a replica of them
03:31 - CookieMasterz: i was playing koth_lakeside
03:31 - CookieMasterz: and he was a medic
03:31 - CookieMasterz: with his fucking vaccinator
03:31 - CookieMasterz: and then
03:32 - CookieMasterz: you know the area with the water?
03:31 - Dr. Ælement: yeah
03:32 - CookieMasterz: yeah
03:32 - CookieMasterz: so we were fighting over there
03:32 - CookieMasterz: and then
03:32 - CookieMasterz: im like POP UBER
03:32 - CookieMasterz: and then it turns out he fell into the water and didnt know how to swim
03:32 - CookieMasterz: so then i die
03:32 - CookieMasterz: and he got meeled by a pyro underwater
03:32 - CookieMasterz: i was facepalming so hard

 

[NoodleCollie]

 

[Fantaboi]

Tf2maps Advice

Fantasmos: SO i've run into a moral issue
Seba: bang her
ades_254 left chat.
Fantasmos: Nah, but it does involve something similar
Seba: bang him?
umb: bang him
umb: damn

 

[Fruity Snacks]

2:39 PM - .HmX* Sergeant Crits: What the creators of snowplow do on their free time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aol5U2FqyNI
2:40 PM - Tekku: Nah
2:41 PM - Fr0z3nR: I don't have a car.
2:41 PM - .HmX* Sergeant Crits: You don't have a
2:41 PM - .HmX* Sergeant Crits: Then what do you drive?

With my feet.

 

[Seba]

19:02 - Idolon: i am coughing despite having a cough drop actively in my mouth
19:02 - Idolon: brlughghgh
19:02 - Fr0z3nR: If you are coughing up mucus that is discolored
19:02 - Fr0z3nR: Please see a doctor.
19:03 - Layl: Idolon, if your vision has disappeared, also go see a doctor

 

[chemelia]

12:17 PM - Berry: like go away old man lemme watch cartoons

 

[Ælement]

Showed a friend a chart of the numbers of elements discovered by each nation.

15:34 - Spykerhyk: lol
15:34 - Spykerhyk: italy
15:34 - Spykerhyk: probably invented pizzonium

 

[puxorb]

Here is what happened today, I feel that I need to share it here. Nothing on steam has been funnier than this moment. :laugh: I send roughly 800 of the generic steam smiley faces, steam makes a weird sound, suddenly it freezes.

puxorb: OH MY GOD
puxorb: I SENT SO MANY SMILIES I CRASHED STEAM
puxorb: IM SORRY
skattagoon is now Offline.

(talking to a mutual friend)

Mountie Mike @nach_amerika: **** wants to know if you can send him a message to test if his steam is working.
puxorb: tell him I sent so many smilies that I crashed steam
puxorb: its going to take a while
puxorb: I am so sorry
Mountie Mike @nach_amerika: Okay, I'll tell him.
puxorb: puxorb: (roughly 800 smilies)
puxorb: OH MY GOD
puxorb: I SENT SO MANY SMILIES I CRASHED STEAM
puxorb: IM SORRY
puxorb: it legitimately crashed on my end
Mountie Mike @nach_amerika: Jeeze. 800 smilies?
puxorb: I have no idea
puxorb: it covered an entire page fullscreen
Mountie Mike @nach_amerika: http://x4.fjcdn.com/comments/Women+cant+be+mimes+have+_3816969550da2387f5aa6a0e8b67dc29.jpg
puxorb: HAHAHA Im trying to upload to imgur so I can show you guys
puxorb: and its frozen
puxorb: I cant upload
Mountie Mike @nach_amerika: Man.
puxorb: gunna have to get a smaller capture
Mountie Mike @nach_amerika: lol
puxorb: http://i.imgur.com/BoKlQWv.png
Mountie Mike @nach_amerika: CHRIST...
puxorb: so **** signed back onto his normal account
puxorb: and its been 4 minutes and no repsonse
puxorb: so I think I have broken his steam
Mountie Mike @nach_amerika: I just tried contacting him.
puxorb: nothing, right?

(much later, and under a different username)

Friday, September 5, 2014
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: WTF
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: literally
puxorb: HI
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: i cant even click on your name
puxorb: im retarted
puxorb: lol
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: lmao
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: it just crashes instantly
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: i cant send you anything
puxorb: an ENTIRE page of my fullscreen monitor
puxorb: of the smily face
puxorb: lmao
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: and if you sent me one it crashes my computer
puxorb: my chat takes like 40 seconds to load you up
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: ignygid
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: what have you done
puxorb: LMAO
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: you have to send me some offline messages
puxorb: I have no idea
puxorb: im an idiot
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: just normal ones
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: so that it clears the chat history
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: just like "hi im stupid in the mouth"
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: a few times
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: please
puxorb: http://i.imgur.com/BoKlQWv.png
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: it still didnt work
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: send me messages
puxorb: okay
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: to my normal account
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: ohmygod
puxorb: how many do I need to send to get rid of the smilies
puxorb: OH FUNNY STORY
puxorb: it couldnt upload to imgur
puxorb: I had to take a smaller capture
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: lmagogo
puxorb: alright

(about 5 minutes later)

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: i dont even know if its clear i cant even open it
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: it crashes the instant i try
puxorb: geez I am so sorry
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: lmao
puxorb: hey, I could sign in on your account on this pc
puxorb: if you make a temp password
puxorb: my computer can handle it
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: ill just wait a day
puxorb: agian, im sorry
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: just dont send me any messages for like
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: 24 hours
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: omg
puxorb: hahaha
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺: lmao its fine
puxorb: it was so stupid
puxorb: and it actually killed something
puxorb: thats hilarious
puxorb: may this go down in history as the dumbest thing I have ever done on steam


(about 20 minutes later)

skattagoon: ohmygod
skattagoon: its finally done
skattagoon: i can actually see the smiley faces now
skattagoon: it nearly crashed
skattagoon: but somehow
skattagoon: it didnt

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you do not send 800 generic smiley faces on steam. (I am actually surprised it let me send that many, since it normally just cuts off at a certain point.)

 

[Idolon]

2:41 PM - the ghostly presence of abp: chat is sailing off a cliff into an ass

 

[LeSwordfish]

ΥM: You just seem overly interested in snowplow
.HmX* Sergeant Crits: I am obsessed with train tbh
Turbo Lover: I have Snowplow themed pyjamas, Snowplow themed wallpaper, Snowplow scented shower gel, Snowplow themed condoms, the list goes on!
.HmX* Sergeant Crits: Snowplow themed condoms
.HmX* Sergeant Crits: wa-
Turbo Lover: The train is coming

choo choo