Last weird dream I could remember was over 6 years ago, and I wrote it down in the instruction manual of an XBOX 360 copy of The Orange Box. 30 minutes of digging and I found the manual in the game case of Magicka.
Our school's head teacher had been assassinated, we were waiting for a new one to step up. I was in a shitty classroom of a shitty subject when a messenger came in and told us we had a school assembly in 10 minutes, right in the middle of class, cue cheering. So the whole school crammed inside the hall and sat down on the chairs, when a totally bald man wearing what I can only describe as Gunboats and the Fancy Dress Uniform stepped on stage, flanked by clones, (One was white, the other was black.) of himself. Everyone shat themselves into silence and he told us he was our new head teacher, then he cancelled the rest of the school week for pupils. While we all ran around, dicks in hand, not in school, the news was going on about the USA being taken over from the inside.
Come Monday the path to was now a dirt track that had been beaten for miles in the other direction, and the school hall had a new wall right in the centre of it and prison cells the size of ovens, stacked as high as the roof, on one side, containing 5 year old slaves, then when we all decided to turn around and leg it, we were staring down 30 gun barrels. We were all made to strip naked and wear Roman peasant clothing, the strong males were taken outside where the football pitch was, the weak ones were taken onto the other side of the new wall, and the females were split evenly among the different subject wings. I was one of the ones taken outside, and there they had many carriages, filled with assorted shit and people also dressed like Romans, with a few of the females from inside, that we had to be the horses for, and take them down the long-ass dirt path. So I picked up my carriage and started to lift, and not wanting to lead the pack, got whipped by the man inside. Eventually someone moved forward and started the migration
Not 15 minutes pass until I decided "Fuck this." and dropped my carriage, then jumped up and inside. Turns out the guy inside was tiny, so I told him to "Get the fuck out of the carriage or I will garrotte you so hard with your whip, that your head will come off." So he shat himself out of the carriage and right under the wheels of a passing carriage, no one seemed to notice, and I freed the girl he had inside. She was a girl from one of my classes, she said we needed to find and free everyone else. I agreed, and so I jumped across carriage roofs until I found 6 other classmates (5 female, 1 male.) and then I caught sight of a good friend of mine, near the front. Dashing to the front I told him to "Drop the fucking carriage and let's get out of this shit." and he refuses, saying the carriage owner is nice and has promised him land and ladies when we get to wherever the fuck the dirt path lead to, then he punches me in the gut and picks up the pace.
The sun was setting as I returned to the others (Back into normal clothes, with my own clothes in a pile next to them.) and told them (We shall call this good friend of mine Dave.) "Dave's away, says they've promised a shitload when they get to the place." The one male I rescued said "We will need to come back for him, let's get everyone else first." Come midnight we had rounded up the whole class, minus two, Dave and his girlfriend (We shall call this girlfriend of Dave's Anne) and I declare that they've gone too far ahead, we'll stop the guy inside the school, then come back for them. So we plan to strike, during the day the fastest runners scout up the path and report the carriages have stopped at a forest. At sunset we move onto the roof of the school, and begin the operation.
My first task was to free the prisoners, then kill the Guy, having no fucking clue how to unlock a cell door, I caved in the wall of one cell, and told the strongest in there to do the same to the rest until you've all escaped, surprisingly successful for 5 year olds. Then I move onto objective 2, I first check all the subject wings, then move to the other side of the wall. On the other side, there was a small room, with a door on either side, on the far side, next to a half opened door, lay Dave, in normal but bloodied clothes and a revolver in his lap. He tells me 2 things, "Kill him, and tell Anne I love her." then promptly kicks the bucket. So I pick up the revolver and walk inside, and he's having sex with his clones, I shoot them before he can do anything, then he grabs his own gun and points it at me, still naked. Dialogue happened, but I didn't write it down, I just know I shot him and the building collapsed afterwards.
30 years later, I'm enjoying sausage and beans for the first time since the incident, I'm married, and the only other survivor is Anne, who is in hospital suffering from accelerated ageing. I go visit her, and she's dying, so I tell her "You know Dave loved you." to which she replies, "I know." and promptly kicks the bucket. End of writing.
TL;DR Retarded shit happened.
