If hammer had achievements...

[Penguin]

Never to Blame: Click a button in hammer and assume it is broken, not that you simply don't know how to use it.

Picture-in-Picture: Compile your map with a sky camera in the main area, as well as the 3d skybox.

 

[Fruity Snacks]

Dead man running: Close Hammer during a compile because you think its crashed and is not responding.

 

[Corvatile]

Service to Humanity: Make an achievement map.

 

[KingOfSandvich]

Well-Lit Workaround: Successfully give a mobile brush entity dynamic lighting by giving it a vertex-lit material.

Touch The Rainbow: Create an AreaPortal Leak

No Turn Ahead: Create a spinning brush with momentary_rot_button because func_rotating is broken.

Unusable: Create a button or door with "Use Opens," walk up to it, and call for a Medic. (Forget that the E key is "Medic" instead of "Use")

InVISible Problem: Cordon off a part of your map that would otherwise leak, causing compile time to skyrocket.

 

[BURNBURNBURN]

Phailure: force shutdown on hammer 75 times during compile beacuse it said not responding, and then discover that it was still compiling in the background, only after you read it on the hammer achevements page.
UNLOCKED!!!!

 

[Gerbil]

"haha you wait and see bro" - Make a crappy blurred out teaser picture for your map and post it in the chatroom.

 

[Dragonstorm24]

 

[ricardojvc6]

What Cat: Have your map crashed due to optimization and quit it.
Ric is Buggering again!! : See how many maps ric quits in a month
Ah screw it: Make a map, after reaching the end you quit because you detailed.
All Hail Vave: Hail Valve because it is king of mapping.
Boojum's snarky help: Appreciate boojum's hep for his resources.

 

[Zhan]

 

[Harpo_53]

Cold Feet: Open Source SDK and realize, less than ten seconds later, that you're not interested in mapping at the moment.

Give Up Yet?: Survive a four hour long compile of your first map, before learning about func_detail.

Mini-Me: Create a well thought out, well planned Dev map, and then load it into TF2 to realize you have the scale completely off.

No Need to Defend: Create a team_control_point, together with the prop, but forget to make a trigger_capture_area.

Snake, You Can't Do That!: Rename your .bsp file after compiling, building cubemaps, and paking all custom material.

Snake, You Can't Do That!, Part 2: Release the renamed .bsp publicly, and become hopelessly confused when people report missing custom material.

 

[Another Bad Pun]

What Cat: Have your map crashed due to optimization and quit it.

I feel ripped off.

 

[Penguin]

Get the Ball Rolling: Invent and then Re-Invent a game mode of your own design.

 

[Another Bad Pun]

Nabacular Drop: Make a map that reaches the maximum grid height.

OMG NEON: Set a func_arepotal_window fade color to orange.

Just like the old days: Give the final version of your map a hl1 skybox.

 

[Fruity Snacks]

"Captian Hammer" - Have every porn spray ever in your texture folder.

Context:

Michael of North: do any of you know how to remove textures?
LeSwordfish: from waht?
LeSwordfish: a brush?
Michael of North: hammer
Michael of North: every porn spray ever is in my textures folder
PSU||Fr0z3n: LOL
PSU||Fr0z3n: Just delete the .vtf and .vmf from the folder.
LeSwordfish: ...that's quite an acheivement
LeSwordfish: wait, wait
PSU||Fr0z3n adds that to a list of hammer achievements.

 

[Wilson]

Oh goddamn it not again: Suddenly realize that you are making something MSPA related in hammer and quickly scrap everything.

 

[Fredrik]

"Doh!" Create a simpsons map.

 

[YM]

Why are all of these except grazr's achievements based on failure. Do you guys not understand the concept of achievements?

Do something good, get a reward.

Lucky streak - Complete 100 consecutive compiles without any crashes or leaks

Seive - Seal a leak

Watertight - Seal 50 leaks

Airtight - Seal 100 leaks

Impenetrable - Seal 1000 leaks

Unsinkable - Construct an entire map from scratch and compile it without a single leak

SuperShopper - Spend more than 20 minutes browsing for the perfect prop to use

Totally focused - Use Hammer for two hours straight where it is the only application open

World builder - Create 50 unique maps

Master builder - Create 100 unique maps

Supreme builder - Create 1,000 unique maps

Little Dutch boy - Compile a map with only one leak and seal it with a brush smaller than 8^3 units

Health and safety - Ensure every ledge in your map is lower than the fall damage threshold

 

[Vincent]

Supreme builder - Create 1,000 unique maps

Do they have to be good maps.

 

[HellJumper]

Party Time: Successfully create a map that follows every single one of Grazr's guides.

 

[Zhan]