Hey, I did a quick run around for you! These are just my initial impressions, and just based off of what I've seen work and not work in the past. Running around it is never as good as having a full server playing on it, so get it in a gameday!
First, I'd recommend uploading your map to TF2Maps directly rather than mediafire or any other hosting service. They can be a pain at times. Plus we offer it here, so might as well take advantage of it!
Not a huge issue, but one you might want to take care of, on loading the map I noticed a bunch of vphysics errors in the console:
If you aren't aware, this means you have collision turned on those props when they don't actually have collision information.
The map itself is rather dim, so I'd up the ambient lighting up quite a bit. At the very least you need brighter spot lights. Check out some of the night maps, they are surprisingly bright.
You seem like you have some neat detailing ideas, but I think the map has a lot of gameplay issues.
Starting with detailing, I like your use of roof tops, and I think you have a pretty decent understanding of the shapes you should be making buildings. I could see you becoming a really good detailer with more practice.
These are neat structures:
Your displacements are a bit of a mess, though.
It appears as though you've taken a flat displacement on the ground and stretched it to where you want it? It's always a good idea to try to start your displacements off in a very similar shape to what you want your end result to be, and then make it more natural looking. Upward does this really well.
You had some good material/ prop combinations and usages, stuff that few new mappers tend to think of. I think you're ahead of the game detailing wise for where you are as a mapper. Just keep practicing!
And onto gameplay...
It feels rather vertically overscaled. A jumping class is going to dominate on it, being able to easily scale nearly every tall structure on the map, while slow fat Heavy is running around trying to find ways around everything, often into a long sightline he can easily get picked off from.
Stuff like this is tough to navigate and should be smoothed out more
Your map appears to be a giant box with stuff filling it.
This is a pretty common tactic for newer mappers, but you'll run into a ton of problems later on with optimization and generally it doesn't lend to good gameplay design. Everything is very open because of it. Take a look at how gravel pit divides each area off.
There are some huuuuge sightlines on your map.
I definitely think there are some big class imbalances on this map, jumping classes/ snipers are going to dominate while Heavies, Medics, and Pyros are going to have a really frustrating time.
The laser seems like a fun idea, but I think it's causing you to sacrifice the overall quality of the map due to the sightline it creates, the (rather loud) bell, and the "random" death factor that players hate. Gimmicks can be fun, but I'd focus on getting solid gameplay down before trying to do anything too different. Hate to squash fun new ideas, but it's always a good idea to get a solid base of understanding down before trying to break outside the box.
Finally, it doesn't seem that last point unlocks with the capture of the first two points
I hope you don't take this run through too negatively. This is better than most early mappers create. You should definitely be encouraged by what you created and maybe take what you learned from it to your next map. Definitely still get it in a gameday and see how it plays though. I think you'll see a lot of the same things I mentioned once you get some other people running around it with you.
Hope this helped!
