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I would like to point out here how many people use those weapons: http://tf2stats.net/items/
Obviously people are getting them on a fairly regular basis. If that many people are using them it's not too difficult to imagine how many have them but are not using them.
I really have no idea what to say to you. You want those items to be just given to you or, as you seem to be implying, guaranteed to you in some way. I see little purpose in that because it is statistically true that you WILL get them at some point. It might take a long time, but you will. In the mean time, those "tactical advantages" are very minimal, very situational, and almost never happen.
Hell, I don't have the Chocolate, Pain Train, or Homewrecker yet and I have no desire to have them because I would never use them and I have yet to have been presented into a situation where I would find them useful. Gunboats I have but I only use to jump around my maps to test how rocket jumping effects my maps. In game, I just don't use them. They're far too situational and the other soldier weapons are significantly more useful at every point in the game.
Only thing I can suggest is... don't be frustrated? Have patience, play the game with what you have, and you'll get them eventually. All frustration will melt away.
You don't seem to be willing to accept the fact that the problem has nothing to do with those who have the weapons, but those who don't. Just because a bug in steam effects a small number of people does not mean its better for Valve to ignore it.
Just because a large majority of people have acquired the weapons does not make it acceptable that the system is still failing others. What makes it worse is that the flaws become less apparent over time because chances are that players will acquire them at some point. But that's just it, chance doesn't garauntee anything. Over time i should acquire one of these weapons, but that doesn't mean i will, like you state. I've been waiting for the gunboots for 4 months and you're telling me i should be patient? Being dismissive about it is not healthy debating either. Just because you don't care, nor have found the weapons useful does not mean that that's true for all people. All weapons are situational, and play styles increase/decrease the occurance of those situations.
In the mean time, those "tactical advantages" are very minimal, very situational, and almost never happen.
I have the pain train and as a soldier i use it all the time now, it's a great alternative melee that benefits my play style. I use it in almost all aspects of TF2 other than ctf.