Blatant Personal Fable

Aug 30, 2015
359
451
In spite of my laconic personality, I have a tendency to run my mouth without considering the consequences. Indeed, one of my strongest memories of my early days on the internet was accidentally insulting a friend who, incidentally, broke off our relationship a year later. Such was the case this morning when I made this (now deleted) post:
If only we had some sort of device that transmitted pictures of people, until then, we won’t know

As was noted back when they were introduced, the dislike button has a tendency to be vague in its meaning. A disliked post can be either off-topic, citing incorrect information, pointless, or in bad taste. Since my social anxiety is matched only by my social incompetence I tacitly assumed the latter. I actually like this community so in the interest of maintaining at least one unburnt bridge, allow me to offer my explanation for my actions
This morning Joshenkstone made this uninsightful post:
Joshenkstone: I'm listening to this masterpice by muddy: https://soundcloud.com/muddyboue/morrisons-desktop-calculator
BenCo: I'll check it out, but after that i go to sleep so i'm gonna say bye already
Joshenkstone: Allright
BenCo: This is a weird goodbye
Joshenkstone: Bye :p
BenCo: Cya. Also this songs weird :p. Also why the heck muddy declares himself as a female?
Joshenkstone: Muddy is female right?, the guy you hear in the song isn't her
BenCo: Well once i heard a male voice from muddy on gameday :p
Joshenkstone: Well she's a she as far as i know

I, as I always do when confronted with a mass of words, skimmed the post and skipped over this line “why the heck muddy declares himself as a female.” Reading the last three lines I interpreted the exchange to be Josh and Ben arguing over Muddy’s gender. Now, in my head, my post was “What gender is Muddy? That’s a good question, if only we had a picture of her. Until then it shall remain a mystery” followed by two pictures of Muddy’s unambiguously female countenance.
When I wrote the post, I did not realize three things: Muddy is trans, Josh was implying she was, and my joke made no sense. As a result, I came across as a complete toss bucket as usual.

All that to say: if I have ever offended anyone, I apologize, it was not my intention.
 

Lain

lobotomy success story
aa
Jan 8, 2015
724
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It's usually better to apologize to people in private about these things. Take it from the previous TF2M contrarian, you'll get nowhere by publicly declaring yourself a fool.
 

Fantaboi

Gone and one day forgotten
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Mar 11, 2013
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It's usually better to apologize to people in private about these things. Take it from the previous TF2M contrarian, you'll get nowhere by publicly declaring yourself a fool.

Since it was a public thing its better to want to explain it publicly so people who saw don't begin to have grievances in the future, because this can extend a bit more than just Muddy and moreso shape people's attitudes towards arbs.
 

Hotel Detective

L4: Comfortable Member
Dec 10, 2014
187
191
INow, in my head, my post was “What gender is Muddy? That’s a good question, if only we had a picture of her.
I find it weird that this whole thread of conversation happened, considering how late into the phase of "Don't assume" the internet has gotten.
Even a picture doesn't tell the whole story.

Everyone should know this: If you are ever in doubt, most people are fine with you asking which gender they are. Just don't make a show about it. Which this thread has done.

There was only one person you needed to make this statement to.
 

Fantaboi

Gone and one day forgotten
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Mar 11, 2013
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Everyone should know this: If you are ever in doubt, most people are fine with you asking which gender they are. Just don't make a show about it. Which this thread has done.

There was only one person you needed to make this statement to.
But they made the original comment in a public place, so shouldn't they apologize for it in a public place too?
 
Aug 30, 2015
359
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A Few Things

Lain: In the future, I will apologize in private but for now, I just want to say that I am sorry for anything offensive I said without realizing it
Hotel Detective: I don't spend a whole lot of time on the internet and I live out in in bumblefuck Oklahoma, I didn't know gender reassignment was even possible until, like, a year ago. I saw she looked like a lady, I assumed she born as such. Forgive me. Also, not to sound condescending but if you object to personal matters being discussed in public, perhaps you should discuss it with me in private
Fantasmos: Also I am a dude, please refer to me in first person
To Address What You Are All Thinking: I automatically assume everyone thinks poorly of me, and since the Disagree button can mean anything, I assumed that was the case. Part of the fun of having social anxiety is going out of your way to make sure nobody thinks you're transphobic

Personal Fable is a psychological phenomena common in young people where they assume, among other things, that they are the center of a narrative and that other people pay close attention to them. The joke is that I acknowledge that what I am doing is based around the idea that others care about everything I do before proceeding to do it anyway
 
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Muddy

Muddy
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Sep 5, 2014
2,580
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Only just noticed this thread lol.

All I have to say on this matter, I already said in the other thread. But I harbour no hard feelings towards anyone involved. I understand that transgenderism is a weird concept* that some people don't understand terribly well, and I'm not going to instantly assume you're transphobic just because of a misunderstanding. So, no worries, we're cool and stuff.

And, as I said in the other thread, I'm perfectly happy to answer any questions anyone might have. I'm sure the other trans people here (of whom there's a disproportionately large amount, interestingly) will also be happy to talk.

*I've had people get up my butt about this before, so: bear in mind that 'weird' doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Here I'm just using it to mean 'different from the norm'
 

Fantaboi

Gone and one day forgotten
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Mar 11, 2013
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If they're only apologizing to make themself look good, sure?

There's a legitimate acceptance of fault to the wider community because they also saw the fault and may have demonstrated being offended and annoyed at it.