How much time is healthy to use hammer?

[Svode]

No. I am just going to keep hitting myself, stab my leg with pen, bite myself. Then just cry over how I am a failor and just a mistake that should have never been adopted. I did tell you no knives that's a plus.

Take our advice and get some help from a professional. Its for the best. And for the love of God stop injuring yourself

 

[Viemärirotta]

The only way that I keep my mind off of this stuff is playing MvM but I can't play due to my grades not doing so hot. Also there was no blood from the pen but some from hitting myself. I mostly hit myself in the face.

You probably should lay off for some time, like focus on school. Way more important than playing TF2.

 

[Flipy]

The only way that I keep my mind off of this stuff is playing MvM but I can't play due to my grades not doing so hot. Also there was no blood from the pen but some from hitting myself. I mostly hit myself in the face.

No, the fact that there is no blood or anything is besides the point, you are still harming yourself. That is not going to help.
Given the thoughts youre having, and if its affecting your schoolwork to be harming your grades, talk to a teacher, a principal, a counsellor, any authoritative figure, they are not going to be your enemies. People will make accomodations so that you can focus on overcoming this and then get your life back on track

 

[FishyUberMuffin]

I'm pretty sure it's fine your mom pays for it. Seriously, those thoughts are not normal, if you dont want therapy at least talk to your relatives.

Then if I talk about it. She would want me go see a therapist. So I don't talk to her about my emotions. I also can't talk to therapist due to me thinking that they judge me when I can answer why I am feeling this way.

 

[Crash]

This is not an appropriate place for this conversation. I highly suggest seeking professional help, or at the very least seeking out a self harm hotline.

 

[Freyja]

I also can't talk to therapist due to me thinking that they judge me when I can answer why I am feeling this way.

This is incorrect. It is literally their job not to judge you and help you get past it.

I would reccomend you seek out help, either a therapist or a hotline. Below is a link to a hotline in america that is also free so you don't have to worry about money. Their entire purpose for existing is to help you get through things like this.
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/