When you see a Pyro with the monocle you don't expect him to be classier. Stop being ridiculous.
The monocle is in the face. Hats and face items doesn't have any effects, but gloves and boats have.
No that's silly wings on your shoes do not work that way.
Actually I'm ten steps ahead of you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1m4TlVz8-4
Updated the bushmaster.
Also:
You better start running if you want to catch up.