I know I've been away for a long time. Life has not been too good for a long time and I haven't been able to make maps.
Recently, I played the new VIP mode with the mobster and I loved it. It reminded me that some time ago, I wrote a script for a comic that featured a mobster. It was out of a discussion I had with someone over the possible origins of the Horseless Headless Horsemann and how he ties into the overall TF2 story, being Silas Mann and whatnot. We thought the funniest explanation for his presence would be if Merasmus raised him from the dead due to a large debt he owes another criminal group. One night, I ran with that idea and wrote up a script for a comic about that.
I chose to have the main character in this story be the Medic, as he really never had much attention in the comics until the end. I also thought it would be fun to explore his character a bit. I just hope I didn't make it all come across as too sappy. I'm not too proud of that last joke at the end, but I couldn't think of anything.
I'm posting it here because I'm afraid that if I post it on reddit, the people there will behave like redditors. I guess I'm posting this to see if anyone enjoys it. Please let me know what you think.
docs.google.com
Magical Malpractice
A TF2 Halloween Comic
By Ike Duquesne
Cover should look like the cover to the Modern Mad Medicine journal. In addition to some gags related to articles inside it, there should be one blurb that states “Can Mad Science and Mad Magic Coexist? A True Tale of Collaboration with Magical Malpractice.”
Int. A dark location. We see a dimly illuminated Merasmus the Magician speaking (seemingly) to the reader. Small images of the topics Merasmus speaks of appear behind him.
Merasmus
You know of the feud between the Mann Brothers, how their legendary hatred gave rise to the Gravel Wars. But, there is another member of that accursed family who swore a terrible vengeance over the body of old Zephaniah…
We see an image of the Mann whom Merasmus is speaking of, Silas Mann.
Merasmus
Silas Mann, a relative of those cutthroat siblings. Zephaniah outshined Silas in the world of business. He disregarded his relation and bequeathed him nothing. Silas vowed he would not rest until he’d subverted the wills of everyone mentioned in the will, starting with those imbecilic brothers. Though he died not long after Zepheniah, Silas swore he would return…
Cut to a wider shot showing Merasmus in a dimly lit basement. He is now groveling before an Italian mob boss (an angry capo), whose henchmen may be seen nearby. Merasmus continues.
Merasmus
WHICH IS WHY MERASMUS IS BEGGING YOU FOR A LITTLE MORE TIME TO PAY YOU BACK! PLEEEEASE BIG LOUIE GIAGANTE, MERASMUS WILL MAKE THIS WORTH YOUR WHILE!
Big Louie Giagante
You kiddin’ me? First you borrow money from the Bonanno Family to buy “magical artifacts,” then you try to pay it back with some ghost story? Halloween may be comin’ up, but the boss ain’t in the mood for tricks!
Merasmus
It is no trick! Silas was obsessed with the occult! He even bought the fabled Key of Nergal, capable of restoring life to a sufficiently vengeful soul while bolstering their strength!
Merasmus holds up a gold key and a gold medallion shaped like the cuneiform symbol for the Mesopotamian god Anu.
Merasmus
[continuing] Merasmus has the Key and the Crest of Anu, which forces obedience upon the undead! Merasmus will give you Silas! He can be your immortal hitman, a great asset to the Family!
Big Louie Giagante
So, you can bring this guy back to life for us?
Merasmus
Well… not right now. The Key has to pierce his heart, and after more than a hundred years in the grave-
Merasmus is cut off by Big Louie Giagante drawing his 45 while his thugs produce crowbars, lead pipes, and baseball bats. Merasmus panics.
Merasmus
WAITWAITWAIT! I just need to recruit the only surgeon capable of grafting new material onto a century-old corpse and transplanting it a new heart! He is in town!
Big Louie takes this in. He puts his gun away.
Big Louie Giagante
Alright, let’s say I give you another 24 hours to put your kneecaps to use while you still got ‘em. Who’s the surgeon you’d get?
Merasmus
Him!
Merasmus holds up a newspaper clipping featuring a deranged picture of the Medic, with a headline reading “Local Man Ruins Santa Fe Surgeon Conference.”
Int. RED Base, day.
We see the mercenaries, dressed in their RED uniforms, preparing for a battle. The Pyro should be doing something silly and/or cute. The only ones missing from the room are the Demoman and the Medic. As the group inspects their weapons and gather supplies, the Soldier gives a briefing.
Soldier
Men! Ms. Pauling has given us an assignment of the highest importance! We need to defend a decrepit mansion for Old Man Mann, a BLU incursion is imminent! But with our grit, determination, and another word for grit, they’ll be stopped!
Scout
[angry] For the luvva god, will you stop saying that every 20 frickin’ minutes?!
The Demoman walks in the room. He looks worried.
Demo
Lads! We got a problem!
Spy
[bored/annoyed] Is your blood alcohol level only ten percent and that is another ‘rookie number?’
Demo
Worse than that! It’s Medic. He’s gotten all depressed.
Sniper
So? We fight and kill people every day. Tell him to think professionally and focus on his job. Heck, can’t you give him something to perk him up?
Demo
I did! I offered him the best Bavarian craft brew I own and he turned it down.
The Demoman gets a serious look in his eye.
Demo
That’s how serious the situation is lads; he’s a German who refused a beer!
Cut to various shots of the mercs all looking horrified at the news the Demo has delivered them (except the Soldier, who picks his nose as though he heard nothing).
Ext. Entrance to RED base, day.
The Medic sits on a stoop, looking at the ground melancholically with a bush not too far away from him. He sighs. Then he is surprised when a sandwich drops in his lap. He picks up the sandwich and looks next to him to see the Heavy nearby, along with the Engineer.
Medic
Oh. Danke, Heavy.
Heavy
What is a matter, Doctor?
Medic
Ach, the surgeon conference in Santa Fe. I figured with Thanksgiving coming up after Halloween, I might impress the medical community with the turducken I made. Sadly, the only one I enthused was Archimedes.
We see an image of the Medic proudly presenting his turducken to the conference. It is a grisly sight, a mass of still living flesh from three different birds sewn together into an amorphous blob of bloodied meat only distinguishable by the agonized heads of a turkey, a duck, and a chicken at the top of the thing. All three look like they wish they were dead. Archimedes emerges from a hole he burrowed into the front of the abomination. The audience is horrified and howls in terror.
Cut back to the despondent Medic on the stoop, talking to the Heavy and the Engi.
Medic
sigh You show off your creation, und it’s so “problematic” they call the police, then you kill one cop, und they say that’s also “problematic…” I’m keeping his body in the meat freezer by the way, I have an experiment requiring a pig cadaver.
The Medic gives a bigger sigh.
Medic
But none of that matters. My work will never get the recognition it deserves.
Engineer
We appreciate your work pardner. You’re the feller who invented the Ubercharge and the Kritzkrieg. Heck, I’ve seen you work a human body the way I’d work a machine. It’s a talent I wouldn’t mind learnin’.
The Medic perks up ever so slightly
Medic
Really? Does this mean you’ll help me raid a cemetery later?
The Engineer is a little taken aback by this.
Engineer
Uh, well…
The Heavy interrupts him.
Heavy
What Engineer means is you are key team-player, Doctor. Those surgeons don’t know you are most important teammate. We do. Without you, entire team is babies, crying over wounds.
The Medic gives a small chuckle at this as the Heavy helps him to his feet.
Medic
Well, we certainly wouldn’t want that. Thank you, mein Freund.
Engineer
Why dontcha come on in and help us get ready?
Medic
Of course, I’ll catch up.
Heavy and Engineer walk inside the base. The Medic gives a slight smile and is about to follow them inside when the nearby bush rustles. Merasmus pokes his head out of it and addresses the Medic.
Merasmus
Psst! Hey, kid! Wanna go grave-robbing with me?
The Medic’s face lights up like it’s Christmas morning at these words.
Ext. an abandoned looking cemetery, day. Merasmus and the Medic approach the grave of Silas Mann with shovels in hand and smiles on their faces. Merasmus points to Silas’ grave.
Merasmus
…And that is the one we’ll dig up!
Medic
I can’t tell you how gratifying it is to find someone who shares my hobby!
Merasmus
Yes, Merasmus has dug up the dead for rituals since before you were born! Great minds think alike! Though, there’s not much of Silas left to resurrect.
Medic
Oh-ha-ha! Not for much longer mein neuer Freund!
Cut to a montage of the Medic and Merasmus cheerfully digging up the grave of Silas Mann. They merrily take his remains back to the Medic’s lab in the RED base. There, Merasmus smiles with genuine happiness as the Medic gleefully reconstitutes Silas’ remains into something more recognizable as the Horseless Headless Horsemann (Jack o’lantern head, dark clothing, occasional exposed bones etc).
In another panel, the Medic is at a table working on a new heart that looks like it was jury-rigged out of parts from other people’s hearts. The heart, which Archimedes pecks at, has the Key of Nurgal jammed into it. Merasmus gleefully watches the Medic work. The Horsemann lies on a slab in the background. The Soldier is seen walking away from the slab holding a small object in both his hands, though we do not see what it is.
Int. RED Base. Night.
The Heavy emerges from a teleporter in a hallway and walks towards the Medic’s lab, calling for him.
Heavy
Doctor! It is almost time for battle! We need you!
The Heavy opens the door to Medic’s lab and is somewhat surprised by what he sees. Inside, the Medic gleefully makes final preparations to Silas’ remains, now completely recognizable as the Horseless Headless Horsemann. The Horsemann lies on a slab and is connected to a sparking Frankenstein-esque machine. The Horsemann’s axe leans against a nearby wall with Archimedes perched on top of it. Merasmus stands near the Medic looking excited. Big Louie Giagante is there too, along with a couple of thugs. They look annoyed.
Heavy
Doctor?
Medic
Ah, Heavy! Wunderbar! You are in time to witness my collaboration with Merasmus the Magician reach fruition!
Heavy
You… will bring this body to life?
Medic
Ja! Well, not all of it. Some parts were too damaged, like the head. So I improvised.
Big Louie Giagante
This better work. I could be meltin’ a guy’s face with a blowtorch right now.
The Horsemann twitches. He rises from the slab and grabs his axe. Archimedes flies away.
Merasmus
[very pleased, somewhat sinister] Oh, it shall work! For he is now more than Silas Mann! He is THE HORSELESS HEADLESS HORSEMANN! An immortal killing machine, which Merasmus unleashes upon you, Big Louie Giagante!
Big Louie Giagante
You dirty rat!
Merasmus
Did you really think a magician would suffer the indignity of mafia loan-sharking? The Crest of Anu forces him to obey my commands! Now you shall fear me Big Louie Gi-
Merasmus is interrupted by the Horsemann kicking him across the room. He struggles to get to his feet. The Horsemann swings his axe at Merasmus but is prevented from hitting him by the Heavy, who grabs the axe’s handle as it comes down.
Merasmus
H-how?! How can this be?! I placed the Crest of Anu on your belt!
We see that the Horsemann’s belt buckle is the normal Jack o’lantern belt buckle he has on in the game. The Crest of Anu isn't there!
Merasmus
Hold on! That’s not the Crest of Anu! What happened to- wait…
Suddenly, Merasmus remembers what happened to the Crest of Anu. The next panel shows a flashback. A text box reads “A FEW HOURS EARLIER…” We see the Soldier remove the Crest of Anu from the Horsemann’s body as it lies on the slab. The Medic and Merasmus are across the room with their backs turned, too distracted by their work on the heart.
Soldier
Merasmus! I’m taking your fancy, shiny, gold nose-picker and leaving you this thing I found in a Crackerjack box!
Merasmus
Whatever! I’m busy!
Cut back to the present where Merasmus has become so angry he has leapt into the air and cast a man-sized portal as he shouts-
Merasmus
CURSE YOU SOLDIER!!!!!!!
The portal sucks in the Horsemann, leaving the Heavy looking a little confused. Merasmus lands on the ground next to him, looking enraged.
Heavy
Did you kill monster?
Merasmus
NO! He cannot truly die now! He can only be waylaid!
Medic
[pleased with himself] Yes, a testament to the merits of two great minds-
The Medic is interrupted by Merasmus angrily getting in his face.
Merasmus
Spare me your scientific sanctimony you quack! You’re better off making turduckens! It was your friend who ruined my plan, so all your friends will pay! I’ve teleported the Horsemann to the site of your latest battle! He wants to subvert the Will of Mann, and he shall by killing your fellow mercenaries!
Merasmus is interrupted by the sound of several clicking noises. He turns around to see Big Louie and his thugs aiming guns at him.
Merasmus
Oh shit.
Merasmus runs out of the room, terrified and screaming as the mobsters give chase while firing at him, no, sorry, “discharging their weapons in the general vicinity of the wizard.” The Heavy approaches the Medic, who has his back turned and is quite possibly saddened. There’s a darkness around the Medic; maybe he really is depressed again. The Heavy places a hand on the Medic’s shoulder.
Heavy
I am sorry the wizard said those things, Doctor. They are not true.
To the Heavy’s surprise, the Medic turns around to reveal he is smiling.
Medic
Ach! It is pish-posh mein Freund!
Heavy
You are… not made sad?
Medic
Of course not! This whole experience proves you were right! The recognition of my peers is nice, but I don’t need it now. Und I definitely don’t need it from a fickle wizard! I have the recognition I need right here!
The Medic picks up his medigun. He looks excited for battle.
Medic
Und it will be earned even more by saving our colleagues from the Horsemann! What do you say, Heavy? Up for a fight with my latest experiment?
Heavy smiles confidently.
Heavy
Da. This will work.
Int. The shed across from the tunnel at point A on Mann Manor. Night.
Surrounded by the bodies of dead BLU mercenaries, our heroes on the RED Team cower in a corner as the Horseless Headless Horsemann approaches them, laughing a mighty “BWAHAHAHA!”
His axe comes down on the head of the Soldier (who has the Crest of Anu dangling from one of his nostrils). But, a split second before the axe strikes him, the Soldier is suddenly ubercharged, saving him. He turns his head to see he is being hit with the beam from the Medic’s medigun, while the Heavy stands next to him revving up Sasha. The Medic triumphantly asks:
Medic
Did someone call for an uber?
Soldier
[confused] I don’t get it.
To be continued in SCREAM FORTRESS!
Recently, I played the new VIP mode with the mobster and I loved it. It reminded me that some time ago, I wrote a script for a comic that featured a mobster. It was out of a discussion I had with someone over the possible origins of the Horseless Headless Horsemann and how he ties into the overall TF2 story, being Silas Mann and whatnot. We thought the funniest explanation for his presence would be if Merasmus raised him from the dead due to a large debt he owes another criminal group. One night, I ran with that idea and wrote up a script for a comic about that.
I chose to have the main character in this story be the Medic, as he really never had much attention in the comics until the end. I also thought it would be fun to explore his character a bit. I just hope I didn't make it all come across as too sappy. I'm not too proud of that last joke at the end, but I couldn't think of anything.
I'm posting it here because I'm afraid that if I post it on reddit, the people there will behave like redditors. I guess I'm posting this to see if anyone enjoys it. Please let me know what you think.
Magical Malpractice
Magical Malpractice A TF2 Halloween Comic By Ike Duquesne Cover should look like the cover to the Modern Mad Medicine journal. In addition to some gags related to articles inside it, there should be one blurb that states “Can Mad Science and Mad Magic Coexist? A True Tale of Collaboration with...
Magical Malpractice
A TF2 Halloween Comic
By Ike Duquesne
Cover should look like the cover to the Modern Mad Medicine journal. In addition to some gags related to articles inside it, there should be one blurb that states “Can Mad Science and Mad Magic Coexist? A True Tale of Collaboration with Magical Malpractice.”
Int. A dark location. We see a dimly illuminated Merasmus the Magician speaking (seemingly) to the reader. Small images of the topics Merasmus speaks of appear behind him.
Merasmus
You know of the feud between the Mann Brothers, how their legendary hatred gave rise to the Gravel Wars. But, there is another member of that accursed family who swore a terrible vengeance over the body of old Zephaniah…
We see an image of the Mann whom Merasmus is speaking of, Silas Mann.
Merasmus
Silas Mann, a relative of those cutthroat siblings. Zephaniah outshined Silas in the world of business. He disregarded his relation and bequeathed him nothing. Silas vowed he would not rest until he’d subverted the wills of everyone mentioned in the will, starting with those imbecilic brothers. Though he died not long after Zepheniah, Silas swore he would return…
Cut to a wider shot showing Merasmus in a dimly lit basement. He is now groveling before an Italian mob boss (an angry capo), whose henchmen may be seen nearby. Merasmus continues.
Merasmus
WHICH IS WHY MERASMUS IS BEGGING YOU FOR A LITTLE MORE TIME TO PAY YOU BACK! PLEEEEASE BIG LOUIE GIAGANTE, MERASMUS WILL MAKE THIS WORTH YOUR WHILE!
Big Louie Giagante
You kiddin’ me? First you borrow money from the Bonanno Family to buy “magical artifacts,” then you try to pay it back with some ghost story? Halloween may be comin’ up, but the boss ain’t in the mood for tricks!
Merasmus
It is no trick! Silas was obsessed with the occult! He even bought the fabled Key of Nergal, capable of restoring life to a sufficiently vengeful soul while bolstering their strength!
Merasmus holds up a gold key and a gold medallion shaped like the cuneiform symbol for the Mesopotamian god Anu.
Merasmus
[continuing] Merasmus has the Key and the Crest of Anu, which forces obedience upon the undead! Merasmus will give you Silas! He can be your immortal hitman, a great asset to the Family!
Big Louie Giagante
So, you can bring this guy back to life for us?
Merasmus
Well… not right now. The Key has to pierce his heart, and after more than a hundred years in the grave-
Merasmus is cut off by Big Louie Giagante drawing his 45 while his thugs produce crowbars, lead pipes, and baseball bats. Merasmus panics.
Merasmus
WAITWAITWAIT! I just need to recruit the only surgeon capable of grafting new material onto a century-old corpse and transplanting it a new heart! He is in town!
Big Louie takes this in. He puts his gun away.
Big Louie Giagante
Alright, let’s say I give you another 24 hours to put your kneecaps to use while you still got ‘em. Who’s the surgeon you’d get?
Merasmus
Him!
Merasmus holds up a newspaper clipping featuring a deranged picture of the Medic, with a headline reading “Local Man Ruins Santa Fe Surgeon Conference.”
Int. RED Base, day.
We see the mercenaries, dressed in their RED uniforms, preparing for a battle. The Pyro should be doing something silly and/or cute. The only ones missing from the room are the Demoman and the Medic. As the group inspects their weapons and gather supplies, the Soldier gives a briefing.
Soldier
Men! Ms. Pauling has given us an assignment of the highest importance! We need to defend a decrepit mansion for Old Man Mann, a BLU incursion is imminent! But with our grit, determination, and another word for grit, they’ll be stopped!
Scout
[angry] For the luvva god, will you stop saying that every 20 frickin’ minutes?!
The Demoman walks in the room. He looks worried.
Demo
Lads! We got a problem!
Spy
[bored/annoyed] Is your blood alcohol level only ten percent and that is another ‘rookie number?’
Demo
Worse than that! It’s Medic. He’s gotten all depressed.
Sniper
So? We fight and kill people every day. Tell him to think professionally and focus on his job. Heck, can’t you give him something to perk him up?
Demo
I did! I offered him the best Bavarian craft brew I own and he turned it down.
The Demoman gets a serious look in his eye.
Demo
That’s how serious the situation is lads; he’s a German who refused a beer!
Cut to various shots of the mercs all looking horrified at the news the Demo has delivered them (except the Soldier, who picks his nose as though he heard nothing).
Ext. Entrance to RED base, day.
The Medic sits on a stoop, looking at the ground melancholically with a bush not too far away from him. He sighs. Then he is surprised when a sandwich drops in his lap. He picks up the sandwich and looks next to him to see the Heavy nearby, along with the Engineer.
Medic
Oh. Danke, Heavy.
Heavy
What is a matter, Doctor?
Medic
Ach, the surgeon conference in Santa Fe. I figured with Thanksgiving coming up after Halloween, I might impress the medical community with the turducken I made. Sadly, the only one I enthused was Archimedes.
We see an image of the Medic proudly presenting his turducken to the conference. It is a grisly sight, a mass of still living flesh from three different birds sewn together into an amorphous blob of bloodied meat only distinguishable by the agonized heads of a turkey, a duck, and a chicken at the top of the thing. All three look like they wish they were dead. Archimedes emerges from a hole he burrowed into the front of the abomination. The audience is horrified and howls in terror.
Cut back to the despondent Medic on the stoop, talking to the Heavy and the Engi.
Medic
sigh You show off your creation, und it’s so “problematic” they call the police, then you kill one cop, und they say that’s also “problematic…” I’m keeping his body in the meat freezer by the way, I have an experiment requiring a pig cadaver.
The Medic gives a bigger sigh.
Medic
But none of that matters. My work will never get the recognition it deserves.
Engineer
We appreciate your work pardner. You’re the feller who invented the Ubercharge and the Kritzkrieg. Heck, I’ve seen you work a human body the way I’d work a machine. It’s a talent I wouldn’t mind learnin’.
The Medic perks up ever so slightly
Medic
Really? Does this mean you’ll help me raid a cemetery later?
The Engineer is a little taken aback by this.
Engineer
Uh, well…
The Heavy interrupts him.
Heavy
What Engineer means is you are key team-player, Doctor. Those surgeons don’t know you are most important teammate. We do. Without you, entire team is babies, crying over wounds.
The Medic gives a small chuckle at this as the Heavy helps him to his feet.
Medic
Well, we certainly wouldn’t want that. Thank you, mein Freund.
Engineer
Why dontcha come on in and help us get ready?
Medic
Of course, I’ll catch up.
Heavy and Engineer walk inside the base. The Medic gives a slight smile and is about to follow them inside when the nearby bush rustles. Merasmus pokes his head out of it and addresses the Medic.
Merasmus
Psst! Hey, kid! Wanna go grave-robbing with me?
The Medic’s face lights up like it’s Christmas morning at these words.
Ext. an abandoned looking cemetery, day. Merasmus and the Medic approach the grave of Silas Mann with shovels in hand and smiles on their faces. Merasmus points to Silas’ grave.
Merasmus
…And that is the one we’ll dig up!
Medic
I can’t tell you how gratifying it is to find someone who shares my hobby!
Merasmus
Yes, Merasmus has dug up the dead for rituals since before you were born! Great minds think alike! Though, there’s not much of Silas left to resurrect.
Medic
Oh-ha-ha! Not for much longer mein neuer Freund!
Cut to a montage of the Medic and Merasmus cheerfully digging up the grave of Silas Mann. They merrily take his remains back to the Medic’s lab in the RED base. There, Merasmus smiles with genuine happiness as the Medic gleefully reconstitutes Silas’ remains into something more recognizable as the Horseless Headless Horsemann (Jack o’lantern head, dark clothing, occasional exposed bones etc).
In another panel, the Medic is at a table working on a new heart that looks like it was jury-rigged out of parts from other people’s hearts. The heart, which Archimedes pecks at, has the Key of Nurgal jammed into it. Merasmus gleefully watches the Medic work. The Horsemann lies on a slab in the background. The Soldier is seen walking away from the slab holding a small object in both his hands, though we do not see what it is.
Int. RED Base. Night.
The Heavy emerges from a teleporter in a hallway and walks towards the Medic’s lab, calling for him.
Heavy
Doctor! It is almost time for battle! We need you!
The Heavy opens the door to Medic’s lab and is somewhat surprised by what he sees. Inside, the Medic gleefully makes final preparations to Silas’ remains, now completely recognizable as the Horseless Headless Horsemann. The Horsemann lies on a slab and is connected to a sparking Frankenstein-esque machine. The Horsemann’s axe leans against a nearby wall with Archimedes perched on top of it. Merasmus stands near the Medic looking excited. Big Louie Giagante is there too, along with a couple of thugs. They look annoyed.
Heavy
Doctor?
Medic
Ah, Heavy! Wunderbar! You are in time to witness my collaboration with Merasmus the Magician reach fruition!
Heavy
You… will bring this body to life?
Medic
Ja! Well, not all of it. Some parts were too damaged, like the head. So I improvised.
Big Louie Giagante
This better work. I could be meltin’ a guy’s face with a blowtorch right now.
The Horsemann twitches. He rises from the slab and grabs his axe. Archimedes flies away.
Merasmus
[very pleased, somewhat sinister] Oh, it shall work! For he is now more than Silas Mann! He is THE HORSELESS HEADLESS HORSEMANN! An immortal killing machine, which Merasmus unleashes upon you, Big Louie Giagante!
Big Louie Giagante
You dirty rat!
Merasmus
Did you really think a magician would suffer the indignity of mafia loan-sharking? The Crest of Anu forces him to obey my commands! Now you shall fear me Big Louie Gi-
Merasmus is interrupted by the Horsemann kicking him across the room. He struggles to get to his feet. The Horsemann swings his axe at Merasmus but is prevented from hitting him by the Heavy, who grabs the axe’s handle as it comes down.
Merasmus
H-how?! How can this be?! I placed the Crest of Anu on your belt!
We see that the Horsemann’s belt buckle is the normal Jack o’lantern belt buckle he has on in the game. The Crest of Anu isn't there!
Merasmus
Hold on! That’s not the Crest of Anu! What happened to- wait…
Suddenly, Merasmus remembers what happened to the Crest of Anu. The next panel shows a flashback. A text box reads “A FEW HOURS EARLIER…” We see the Soldier remove the Crest of Anu from the Horsemann’s body as it lies on the slab. The Medic and Merasmus are across the room with their backs turned, too distracted by their work on the heart.
Soldier
Merasmus! I’m taking your fancy, shiny, gold nose-picker and leaving you this thing I found in a Crackerjack box!
Merasmus
Whatever! I’m busy!
Cut back to the present where Merasmus has become so angry he has leapt into the air and cast a man-sized portal as he shouts-
Merasmus
CURSE YOU SOLDIER!!!!!!!
The portal sucks in the Horsemann, leaving the Heavy looking a little confused. Merasmus lands on the ground next to him, looking enraged.
Heavy
Did you kill monster?
Merasmus
NO! He cannot truly die now! He can only be waylaid!
Medic
[pleased with himself] Yes, a testament to the merits of two great minds-
The Medic is interrupted by Merasmus angrily getting in his face.
Merasmus
Spare me your scientific sanctimony you quack! You’re better off making turduckens! It was your friend who ruined my plan, so all your friends will pay! I’ve teleported the Horsemann to the site of your latest battle! He wants to subvert the Will of Mann, and he shall by killing your fellow mercenaries!
Merasmus is interrupted by the sound of several clicking noises. He turns around to see Big Louie and his thugs aiming guns at him.
Merasmus
Oh shit.
Merasmus runs out of the room, terrified and screaming as the mobsters give chase while firing at him, no, sorry, “discharging their weapons in the general vicinity of the wizard.” The Heavy approaches the Medic, who has his back turned and is quite possibly saddened. There’s a darkness around the Medic; maybe he really is depressed again. The Heavy places a hand on the Medic’s shoulder.
Heavy
I am sorry the wizard said those things, Doctor. They are not true.
To the Heavy’s surprise, the Medic turns around to reveal he is smiling.
Medic
Ach! It is pish-posh mein Freund!
Heavy
You are… not made sad?
Medic
Of course not! This whole experience proves you were right! The recognition of my peers is nice, but I don’t need it now. Und I definitely don’t need it from a fickle wizard! I have the recognition I need right here!
The Medic picks up his medigun. He looks excited for battle.
Medic
Und it will be earned even more by saving our colleagues from the Horsemann! What do you say, Heavy? Up for a fight with my latest experiment?
Heavy smiles confidently.
Heavy
Da. This will work.
Int. The shed across from the tunnel at point A on Mann Manor. Night.
Surrounded by the bodies of dead BLU mercenaries, our heroes on the RED Team cower in a corner as the Horseless Headless Horsemann approaches them, laughing a mighty “BWAHAHAHA!”
His axe comes down on the head of the Soldier (who has the Crest of Anu dangling from one of his nostrils). But, a split second before the axe strikes him, the Soldier is suddenly ubercharged, saving him. He turns his head to see he is being hit with the beam from the Medic’s medigun, while the Heavy stands next to him revving up Sasha. The Medic triumphantly asks:
Medic
Did someone call for an uber?
Soldier
[confused] I don’t get it.
To be continued in SCREAM FORTRESS!
