48 years ago, there was a fight between a man named Blutarch Mann and a man name Redmond Mann, they were fighting over a useless piece of land in texas, to fight for their cause they hired mercenaries, today I will focusing on the minigun wielding, sandvich eating fatman the heavy, also known as Misha. The heavy was always best friends with a man only known as the medic, sadly though, this medic got sick of getting killed for the heavy shenanigans and the heavy spamming the E button even if he was healing him already, so he stole all of the heavy's lunches, luckily the heavy saved his sandvich and dalokohs bar, but not his buffalo steak sandvich, the medic had fled to mount everest with it, so the heavy followed him. Sadly his minigun and tomislav froze and broke down, he never brought his nasasha or brass beast (because they’re horrible weapons), but the huo-long heater kept him going, in a battle in a igloo the heavy made, he was over ran and was out of ammo with his huo-long heater, so he dropped it and ran using the gloves of running urgently, I guess you could say that he was… RUSSIAN around, ok, I’ll stop STALIN. He ran to the engi, and said… “PUTIN dispenser here”. Don’t worry, I’ll stop. The mini-crit damage added up and killed heavy. But a passing by hoovy gave him a sandvich, heavy lived again. He ran up the mountain with ease using the eviction notice punching birds as they went by. He was facing the medic, they stared at each other, heavy offered a high five, but the medic denied this and ran at heavy with the festive bonesaw and was punch away by heavy, medic realized he had admin powers, so he spawned 26482345274527461247284526472426 merasmuses, and then he realized, his computer was a potato, he crashed. Heavy reunited with the buffalo steak sandvich and for the next two years, it would never be equipped, unless he is in medieval mode.


lol its beautiful