RED dust; short story in progress

Discussion in 'Team Fortress 2 Talk' started by krazy6446, Jul 25, 2009.

  1. krazy6446

    krazy6446 L1: Registered

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    This is a short story that I'm working on. Please give me feedback and/or support.
    :thumbup:

    RED dust

    There was a loud bang, followed by a scream. We recognized the girly voice from our scout, but it was too late.
    The Builders League United had now viped half our team from the surface of this cosy place we call earth.
    Being locked up inside our base, we were all growing restless and tired of each other.
    Our food supply was running dangerously low, due to our heavy weapons guy.
    I can not remember when, but a few months ago, we, the Reliable Excavation & Demolition crew began our mission by investigating a strange cave.
    Our mission was to search the undergrounds for new wealths, in form of gold. After three days or so, we discovered that we were not alone.
    Footprints were scattered outside the mine, construction plans were missing and as it seemed, the sniper as well.
    The only ones left now are me, the heavy weapons guy, a lunatic WW2 soldier, this cocky youngster and our engineer.
    I fear, that soon, we will turn to killing each oth...

    «Say, what are you writing there, sonny?», the soldier asked.
    «Er, nothing. I'm just doodling.», I replied. They didn't fancy my diary.
    «There is no time for doodling private! When I went to Germany to give those crouts a beating, doodlers like you nancy boys were whipped! Oh yes, I remember the good days. Walking across Munich, searching for germans with intact noses. That's right, I'll tell you, you sissies are too soft for a real war. We saw that in 1934...», and he just went on and on, as if there was no tomorrow.
    For all we know, tomorrow may never come again.



    I will not update the story until it's finished, unless you have some major complaints towards it.
     
  2. zpqrei

    aa zpqrei Theme Changer Extraordinaire

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  3. Engineer

    aa Engineer

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    Sounds fine :)
     
  4. krazy6446

    krazy6446 L1: Registered

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    I'll just have the wait for the rest of the americans here (those who get up really late)
     
  5. Engineer

    aa Engineer

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    I am from EU, so if i just woke up than Americans should go to sleep :D
     
  6. Cameron:D

    Cameron:D L6: Sharp Member

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    TF2 machinima time!
    Looks good so far!