Meet The Sniper's Novel

Discussion in 'Team Fortress 2 Talk' started by tf2.com, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. tf2.com

    tf2.com L11: Posh Member

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    Books. Psh. Who cares, right? You're probably saying to yourself, "If I wanted to read, I wouldn't have already stopped reading this blog post." But what if we were to tell you that books are like hats for the inside of your head? And then while you're busy pondering that, what if we were to tell you that John Patrick Lowrie - voice of the Sniper and real life husband of the Administrator - has written a book? And that it's a science fiction epic called Dancing With Eternity. And that it's available now on Amazon! GO BUY IT! DON'T WAIT!

    Did you buy it? Okay, now wait. Just practice reading by reading this sentence over and over until Dancing With Eternity arrives, and then move on to the next paragraph.

    Now that you have your first book, you're probably poking at it with a pen, asking yourself, "what does it do?" Is it sitting there quietly doing absolutely nothing? Because that's what it does! So congratulations book lover, you've entered an exclusive club called literacy whose members include several U.S. Presidents and Margaret Atwood.

    And that's not all. Once you're done reading this dystopian page turner (note: it will not actually turn its own pages), shut off your flashlight, climb out from under your bed, and get ready for the best part: This website will teach you how to turn every single one of Dancing With Eternity's 417 (probably sex-filled) pages into an awesome origami ninja hat. It's simple economics: You're trading one piece of paper for nearly 420 pieces of paper! Get in on this Ponzi scheme before John Patrick Lowry goes to prison!



    Source: TF2.com
     
  2. HellJumper

    aa HellJumper

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    Ahaha. This blog post actually kind made me crack up a little. Specifically the part where they describe pages of a book as "pieces of paper". xD

    Dystopian themed... sounds quite interesting considering it's my favorite genre of literature.
     
  3. LeSwordfish

    aa LeSwordfish semi-trained quasi-professional

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    Hmm. I quite like humor-sci-fi, and it might be worth looking at.
     
  4. Micnax

    aa Micnax I maek map

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    I keep thinking John Patrick Lowrie says Patrick Stewart, which is horribly fitting for this entire book.

    "Warp factor 9, wanka!"

    ...remind me never to take naps in the day again.
     
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  5. Rizz

    Rizz L5: Dapper Member

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    If you mean by "origami hats" by ripping each virtual piece of paper in TF2 out and while still in game, making them into hats, I'm in!

    Pssh... who reads those things called books anymore? I think my mom does and she's 40+.
     
  6. What Is Schwa

    What Is Schwa L6: Sharp Member

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    I'll wait for the audiobook.
     
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  7. Ravidge

    aa Ravidge Grand Vizier

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    A audiobook would be great (read by the author obviously). It should begin with "Here's a touching story..."
     
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  8. Goombac

    Goombac L4: Comfortable Member

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    But an audiobook means no paper. And no paper means no hats. And no hats means...OH GAWD WHAT HAVE I DONE.
     
  9. Wilson

    aa Wilson Burial by Sleep

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    We just make the hats out of refined metal instead.
     
  10. Bermuda Cake

    Bermuda Cake L9: Fashionable Member

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    I thought they meant there was a novel based on meet the sniper... oh well :mellow:
     
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  11. Fr0Z3nR

    aa Fr0Z3nR Creator of blackholes & memes. Destroyer of forums

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    I would actually read that...

    But then we'd be waiting 10 years for the final installation... "Farenheit 451: The Pyro Chronicles"
    Outlining the life of the Pyro, and his love of censorship. Hence why no one can understand him.


    EDIT: Actually. Thats not a bad idea...
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2011