Mad Libs!

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Dr. ROCKZO, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. Dr. ROCKZO

    Dr. ROCKZO L8: Fancy Shmancy Member

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    The new easily produced humour thread!

    http://www.eduplace.com/tales/

    Well, they call them wacky tales but the idea is the same, the trick is to make them cleverly. So lets not rely too heavily on obscenities please. :p

    Simply Delicious!

    Success a la Map

    Ingredients
    1 Jillion cups of Success
    9001 pounds of chopped func_detail's
    ∞^2 teaspoons of alphas
    Only 1 cups of func_water (expensive)
    1.5 Sandviches

    Directions

    Bonk the Success under cold water and place them in a(n) optimized bowl.
    Quickly! you must add the chopped func_detail's, alphas, func_water (expensive), and Sandviches.
    noclip well until all the ingredients are flowing.
    Place spoonfuls of the mixture on a 9” x 12” Alpine Theme.
    Bake 2 minutes at 40,000 degrees.

    Serves 24
     
  2. sniprpenguin

    sniprpenguin L6: Sharp Member

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    Lessons Aesop Never Taught



    And the moral of the story is…

    Two maps don't make a(n) hammer.

    Never compile with Scouts.

    bonk while you're ahead.

    One stylish intel deserves another.

    A red capture point spoils the whole barrel.

    The early Heavy catches the ammo pack.

    Slow and steady wins the med kit.

    A Sandvich a day keeps Demoman away.

    Soldiers of a feather frag together.

    You can bring a(n) Medic to water, but you can't make it reloads.
     
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  3. Ravidge

    aa Ravidge Grand Vizier

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    Road Trip!

    One day my Uncle Sniper #1 and my Aunt Sniper #2 said they would take me and my sister Sniper #3 on a trip to the outbacks.

    “You will love the outbacks,” said Aunt Sniper #2. “It is famous for its wild kangaroos, its piss flowers, and its beautiful flattening hills.”

    “I hope you packed plenty of Gravy for the ride,” said Uncle Sniper #1. “It will probably take us 2 hours.”

    So we all piled into Uncle Sniper #1 and Aunt Sniper #2's camper van. At first the trip was really incredible. We sang “8 Bottles of jarate on the Wall.” Then we counted the huntsmen that we saw camping in the fields by the side of the road. But after 1 hours we had eaten all the Gravy and Sniper #3 was getting huge.

    “Are we almost there?” she asked quickly.

    “Yes, mongrel,” said Aunt Sniper #2.

    Just then I saw a sign that said, “Dustbowl: 2 miles.”

    “Umm, Uncle Sniper #1, is Dustbowl on the way to the outbacks?” I asked.

    “Yeah,” said Sniper #3, pointing, “and is the massive rocket on the way to the outbacks?”

    “Holeydooley!, kids,” laughed Uncle Sniper #1. “You can trust the expert.”

    “One thing's for sure,” I muttered. “I don't think we're in Australia any more.”
     
  4. grazr

    aa grazr Old Man Mutant Ninja Turtle

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    It's the Thought that Counts

    Have you ever gotten a birthday present you didn't want? Did you not get the one you really wanted? Well, that happened to me this year!

    I really wanted a(n) Kiss with a(n) giant fly on it. I saw one in the store and it was only $2004. I mean, that's not too much money. I could save up my allowance for that in 10000000 weeks! But instead, all I got were pants. Who gives pants as a birthday present?

    Sally says it's the thought that counts, and I guess she is right. But next time, I hope my parents think of the really poor beard with a(n) smelly rat on it!
     
  5. jpr

    aa jpr

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    A Discovery in the Park

    Two friends, Heavy weapons guy and scout, spent an afternoon in the park together. The day was annoying and both friends were wearing nothing. The friends had just finished eating when Heavy weapons guy found a small sandvich.

    “Have you ever seen one of these before?” Heavy weapons guy asked scout.

    “Not like this one,” said scout.

    The friends put the sandvich on a nearby table, and they sat down and studied it.

    “Where do you think it came from?” asked scout.

    “I think it's from russia,” said Heavy weapons guy.

    “If it is from russia, this sandvich is a long way from home,” said scout. “I wonder if it's SO SMALL.”

    “It might be SO SMALL. What should we do with it?” Heavy weapons guy asked scout.

    “Should we keep it?” asked scout.

    “It probably belongs to someone. I bet the person dropped it while dying here!,” said Heavy weapons guy.

    “It might belong to someone, but it could just be lost,” said scout. “It's so BABIES. Maybe we should keep it.”

    “It would be great to have this BABIES sandvich, but what if it had been ours and we'd lost it? You would want it back, wouldn't you?” asked Heavy weapons guy.

    “I would. You're right. Let's drop it off at the Lost and Found,” said scout.

    “That's a great idea. Then we can kill all the way home!” said Heavy weapons guy.

    “Who knows, maybe we'll find another sandvich on the way there!” said scout.
     
  6. luxatile

    aa luxatile deer

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    Oh man, this is funny. :D

    Up Close and Personal

    Welcome to The Saxton Show! Tonight Saxton will be interviewing Tavish DeGroot.

    Saxton: And here's my first guest now. Glad you could join us tonight, Tavish DeGroot. Having you on the show makes me feel expensive!

    Tavish DeGroot: It makes me feel expensive, too, Saxton! It's disgusting of you to invite me.

    Saxton: There's been a lot of obese talk about your trip to Australia with The Administrator. In fact, in today's Hat-Wearing Man, Jane Doe wrote a column about your trip.

    Tavish DeGroot: I read it, but that reporter made up the whole story. The Administrator and I have never even been to Australia. In fact, we haven't been out of Georgia for 2318936 years.

    Saxton: Sounds like you were framed.

    Tavish DeGroot: That's right. What else would you like to know?

    Saxton: Is it true that you own more than 4384710 babies?

    Tavish DeGroot: I do own babies, but only two.

    Saxton: Well folks, we're out of time. Thanks, Tavish DeGroot. I really enjoyed erecting with you!

    Tavish DeGroot: I enjoyed erecting with you, too!