Yo listen up. Nobody likes the scout update. It's got holes and problems here and there and really needs a fixer-upper, you know? Well just wait, cause there's more. We got a whole line up of proposals that'll fix up your scout updates like they were the best thing ever to land in your consumer's hands. Bonk! Classic Alright, everyone hates the new formula but we got the real stuff all the way from HQ. Recanned for your pleasure, new Bonk! Classic is a blast from the past, chock full of all kinds of stuff like radiation, and if you can get superpowers from radiation it's gotta be good for you. Bonk! Classic has a cool mixture that'll be sure to give you a 50% speed boost, cancellin' out any pesky Nataschas you might be runnin' through, while also reducing knockback a full 75%. No more sentries knockin' you outta the park! Bonk's also now made with ginseng which is like super sugar but good for you, so you only slow down for about 3 seconds. Word of warning: Bonk! Classic's super old new formula's not up to FDA code, so you're gonna be volatile. If your body ever stops pumpin' the necessary 250 liters of blood per minute through your bladder it'll detonate, splatterin' all the nearby baddies with urine. Bonk! Classic still suffers from replacin' your pistol, and you'll also be unable to use it with the intel or while cappin' points, so you're still down a little. Force-a-(Better)-Nature The FaN sucks. Like, big time here. I mean, I could do better with both my eyes removed and no arms. Look at it, it doesn't work. Who thought this was a good idea? I didn't. Look we got some ideas that'll fix this puppy. First off, the FaN's got this tendency to deal way too much knockback. The FaN's gotta deal like 50% of the knockback it deals now, but 200% to targets that are in the air. Once a guy's up he's toast, so keep your FaN reloaded to hit 'em with a one two punch. You also got that damage problem. The FaN should deal 50% damage to all enemies, meanin' that you ain't gonna kill nobody in two hits, and it doesn't deal random criticals. But if you really wanna be dangerous, it deals minicrits to targets that are in the air, so again the one two punch is gonna hurt. Still got the ammo reduction and extra jump height, nothin' wrong with it! The Slowman Now we got the sandman. Don't tell me you never got hit by one of those flyin' balls just outta nowhere. Now the sandman's pretty nerfed now, but it really needs some fixes. No one ever gets a stun with the sandman anymore. Therefore, you gotta be able to stun people from less distance. Still long range, but you won't deal any extra damage anyway so nobody's hurt with it. Part two: listen up, you need'ta give up somethin', right? How bout a speed reduction with it out. You're probably gonna hate melee fights a lot more now, but you've got the ability to stun anyone who tries to get that close, right? Keep the health loss and stuff otherwise. So what'cha got? Any input goin' on in here?