I've been working on a novel since September, writing in 1 or 2 page bursts every other week. I wanted to show some of my work on here, then after some feedback and revisions I could post it to a popular fiction site where it could be see much more easily. The book is called "Magiside". It originally began as an Earthbound ROM hack, but when I begrudgingly realized that I need a plot first I started writing. It went through two previous iterations, and now that it's on it's third I feel like it's on the right track. Here is the first chapter. Here is the second chapter. Please leave feedback on what you think. How can I improve this? What should I add? What should I remove?