Hey there! Maybe some of you had been ill with depression or still are and would like to help me? I'm so fucking bored of this sh*t. I can't do what I MUST and I can't do what I WANT any more. Just can't... I feel like the days are becoming less colourful and more grey as if there's nothing here on Earth to do for me. The doctor prescribes me different medicine every god damn time I visit him and I ALWAYS suffer from the side effects of those new drugs and from the after effects after I stop consuming my old medicine. I can't be productive, I can't study (and it's already the last year for me in school) and I don't want to do anything any more. I just want to magically disappear like I hadn't existed in the first place. The doctor and the psychologist says that they know it's a hard time for me and I should try to live through everything but I just can't. I want to go back to the old days where I could dream and work towards my goal and not live in this grey bullsh*t I'm having right now.