Depression [Life advice]

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by deadsource, Apr 27, 2013.

  1. deadsource

    deadsource L3: Member

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    Hey there! Maybe some of you had been ill with depression or still are and would like to help me?
    I'm so fucking bored of this sh*t. I can't do what I MUST and I can't do what I WANT any more. Just can't... I feel like the days are becoming less colourful and more grey as if there's nothing here on Earth to do for me.
    The doctor prescribes me different medicine every god damn time I visit him and I ALWAYS suffer from the side effects of those new drugs and from the after effects after I stop consuming my old medicine. I can't be productive, I can't study (and it's already the last year for me in school) and I don't want to do anything any more. I just want to magically disappear like I hadn't existed in the first place. The doctor and the psychologist says that they know it's a hard time for me and I should try to live through everything but I just can't. I want to go back to the old days where I could dream and work towards my goal and not live in this grey bullsh*t I'm having right now.
     
  2. GPuzzle

    GPuzzle L9: Fashionable Member

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    I had depression for a while, like 3 years ago.
    Turns out I just needed to do something new.
    That was the worst phase of my life.
    Want a tip?
    Think of something you have never done before.
    Then just do it.
    That worked for me.
     
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  3. LeSwordfish

    aa LeSwordfish semi-trained quasi-professional

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    Remember that its okay to feel sad and okay to feel depressed and exhausted. Remember that its okay to not feel motivated- you're ill, every bit as much so as if you had the flu, and don't feel afraid to treat it as such.

    Don't feel you have to do anything. Telling you to "just get up and do stuff" is as ridiculous as telling a guy with no legs to "just walk it off". Spend as much time as you can doing as little as you want, if that's what you want. Nothing's as important as your health. Ten years from now, you won't be looking back and thinking "I should have spent less time getting better."

    If you need someone to vent to, my steam name is LeSwordfish, and i'm happy to listen.

    EDIT: I should add the disclaimer that i'm not a doctor or psychologist, just an idiot amateur.
     
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  4. Yacan1

    aa Yacan1 D I G I T A L I N F L U E N C E R

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    I know what you mean, it just feels like a pit you can't climb out of. It's difficult I understand. I just try to always keep a smile on my face and make other people laugh even if I can't make myself laugh. Doing small crafts and drawings helps as well, or learning some kind of new hobby/trade.

    I'd be glad to help if you if you ever need it, message me when you'd like. I hope you end of getting out this, dude.
     
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  5. deadsource

    deadsource L3: Member

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    Thank you everyone. It seems that I need something new in my life. I'll think about what it could be ;)
    Thanks again!
     
  6. Faux Rhinoceros

    aa Faux Rhinoceros Also known as Dr. Element

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    I'm having a lot of downers too, mostly because i can't seem to "loosen up" and participate in normal social behavior (non-drinker, non-smoker, hates parties and mainstream music etc.).

    What keeps me going personally is that i have this idea that i think know what i'm missing in my life. In my case that would be a gf. Maybe you need to find out what's missing in your life, and start to pursue it?

    And if you can't think of anything, then think of a skill you think would be cool to have, and then go practice it (an instrument, a sport or a hobby).

    It feels like we are the most sad when we don't have anything to distract ourselves with.
     
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  7. Arne

    Arne L3: Member

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    I had despression few times. I felt alot better when I began disassambling old computers of ours.
    It was fun, I never did it before.

    So doing something new that you never tried or haven't done it for long.

    I found the new hobbies which were my dreams, and it was Source Mapping and Game Developement (currently an amatuer on it but I'm learning).
     
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  8. Trotim

    aa Trotim

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  9. deadsource

    deadsource L3: Member

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  10. Prestige

    aa Prestige im not gay anymore

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    exercise
     
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  11. Kiddnils

    Kiddnils L3: Member

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    I think everybody had some kind of depression before. I always think about what I'm looking forward to. There are so many things such as getting a job, buying a house, having a girlfriend, see technology advance, playing hl3. I wish you good luck.
     
  12. Bloodhound

    Bloodhound L6: Sharp Member

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    Aren't those the actual reasons for getting depressions?
     
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  13. Faux Rhinoceros

    aa Faux Rhinoceros Also known as Dr. Element

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    wut
     
  14. LeSwordfish

    aa LeSwordfish semi-trained quasi-professional

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    I think looking to the future to break depression only works if you're broadly optimistic.

    Also, remember depression and general upset and sadness are really different things.
     
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  15. deadsource

    deadsource L3: Member

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    Well... I feel quite confused right now.
    In these few weeks I bought CS:GO, started blogging, painting, even started playing League Of Legends (so I could get better so I could play with my friends). Somehow such little things did effect me a little bit in a good way but today I've read something quite terrible.
    Yesterday, we had our last bell. Of course, after the official part at school, most of the graduates go to celebrate to a reserved homestead. While partying, 2 of my acquaintances had drown. I was at home due to my current health situation and only today I've been informed about this tragedy.
    The thing is, I've always admired those two students. You could say they were my role models. They were very smart, good looking, very social and fun to be with. They looked always very confident in what they were doing. As a result everything they did was almost perfectly executed.
    I wanted to be like them. I wished to be able to want to live again every time I saw them. But this tragedy made me feel so confused... I don't even know why I'm feeling so strange right now. We weren't close friends and I only studied physics with one of them. We didn't even talk very much if at all...
     
  16. Faux Rhinoceros

    aa Faux Rhinoceros Also known as Dr. Element

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    Alcohol can fuck up anyone. Even the best.

    That's why i never started.
     
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  17. deadsource

    deadsource L3: Member

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    I feel the same way...
     
  18. Fish 2.0

    Fish 2.0 L6: Sharp Member

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    I might say it's kinda like watching a TV show - you admire these people, (sometimes unknowingly of course) then the TV show just gets cancelled, or the story has been told and then they go away forever and you know you will never see them again... It's kinda like losing a friend. You have put so much time and effort into learning about them and being with them...

    Role models for me are more subconscious. I don't go out of my way to put posters of them up on my walls, but if one of them was to die I would feel like a part of me left, maybe a bit of lung or gal bladder. I guess thats what I might feel like, anyway.
     
  19. McNuggetFiend

    McNuggetFiend L3: Member

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    That right there is a big part of it, especially some of the other parts that can come with it (getting more sunlight, adds structure to your day...)


    Also if you really feel like you need to chat I'd be open to it, just PM me.




    (I work as a therapist by day, if that helps)
     
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  20. Valkyrie

    Valkyrie Guest

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    Man, I know this feeling.

    About 6 years back I got diagnosed with Cancer, I wont go into details where or what happened, but emotionally, physically and mentally it just destroyed me. My life was in shambles, it got to a point I began to question my life entirely, I kept asking myself if it was worth going through pain and suffering just do die anyway but at a later date. I felt like I was trapped, in a dark room with only one way out and no matter what, whether it was my choice or nature that I would eventually have to take that way out of the room.

    People tried to help, but I shunned them, I thought, how could they possible know what I was going through, none of them went through it, they don't know the fear, the pain, the anguish that it causes.

    I stopped eating, drinking, I could not sleep, I was basically dieing slowly. It was torture. I looked at every aspect of my life, at that time, I had nothing. No future, no way out, nothing. I looked for any excuse just to carry on living, family, friends, relationship. There was nothing at all I could find that gave me a reason to keep up a pointless battle.

    I talked to no one about it, I did not want to worry or upset them and to be honest, I thought it would be easier on them if I died sooner. I came close to ending it, closer than I ever thought I could. Sat in the bathroom crying with a container full of bleach. I was moments away from ending it. It was my last chance to convince myself not to do it. Internally I knew I wanted to, but I still tried to end it. It was at that moment I realized, if I was trying so hard to find a reason not to end my life, is that not reason in and of itself. Do I really need to give up, is my life worth this little to me that I would end it like that.

    The simple answer was no, it was not, I had friends, family, doctors, teachers that I could talk to, I was not alone, that dark room I was in began to lighten. I began to realize, it was me. I was isolating myself, I was shunning people. I realized I could fight back, I could deal with my problem, but I could not do it alone. I got as much emotional support as I could, told my parents everything, told my friends what I was going through, the doctors and the teachers. It was amazing just getting it all off my chest. They all helped. They helped me through the trials I was going through, every time I went for treatment, I would come out and my friends and family would be there. I had never been alone but I seemed to force this idea in my head.

    The reason I am telling you all this is, because no matter how dark the room you are trapped in my feel, escape is not out of your reach, you just need some help from you friends. You are not alone, people care about you, people want to see you smile and people want to see you carry on. If you ever need someone to talk to, I promise I can be there. No matter what. I hope this has helped you.
     
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