Robot Identifies Human Flesh as Bacon

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Local Man Unable To Map, Sources Say
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Sep 14, 2008
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Wired said:
Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon
By John Brownlee November 8, 2006 | 11:57 am | Categories: Uncategorized

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Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon.

Researchers at NEC System technologies and Mie University have designed the cute little guy to the right: a metal man gastronomist, “an electromechanical sommelier”, capable of identifying wines, cheeses, meats and hors d’oeuvres. Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses…like “tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.”

But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot’s omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.

Absolutely horrifying. Like cows, once robots taste blood, their hunger for human flesh can never be satiated.

Source

The apocalypse will consist of killer computerized trains and flesh-tasting robots from Japan.

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StoneFrog

L6: Sharp Member
May 28, 2008
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Damnit! If these robots enjoy bacon as much as I do, we don't have long.
 

Owlruler

L12: Fabulous Member
Dec 10, 2008
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Run for the hills!!
 

Armadillo of Doom

Group Founder, Lover of Pie
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Oct 25, 2007
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I'm rather fond of Jim Gaffigan's bacon rant :) If you grind it up, it's like the fairy dust of the food world. Don't like that baked potato? Bam! Bacon bits, and now it's delicious. Add a handful to salad, and it is no longer salad. It becomes a game of 'find the bacon in the green leaves'. And this makes pigs almost god-like animals. You feed them an apple and bacon comes out. It's like the best recycling program ever.
 

NovaSilisko

L42: Life, the Universe and Everything
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Feb 3, 2009
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Oh...fuck.
 

drp

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Oct 25, 2007
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i for one, welcome our bacon eating overlords.