Why do you love steam convos?

Nuke

L4: Comfortable Member
Jul 5, 2016
163
115
Tfw you can't even play other games without TF2 reminding

17:39 - Nuke-m: my entire housing is assymetrical
17:39 - Nuke-m: fucc
17:39 - Nuke-m: One side is 1 block larger
17:39 - Crowbar: you're a little late for the assym2
17:39 - Nuke-m: :^^^)))

P.S. It's Terraria
 

Svode

Take a Chance on Me
aa
Jul 31, 2016
166
471
9:29 PM - abp: !mps
9:29 PM - abp: well, i give up
9:29 PM - abp left chat.
 

Auwi

Certified in best in fun
aa
Dec 12, 2012
188
498
4Jgubki.jpg
 

Idolon

they/them
aa
Feb 7, 2008
2,105
6,106
[8:17 PM] abp: does ido still want dixie played
[8:22 PM] Muddy: i'd like to have my dixie played
[8:22 PM] Muddy: i regret saying that
 

Pocket

Half a Lambert is better than one.
aa
Nov 14, 2009
4,694
2,579
Please tell me someone made a joke like *whips out banjo and starts playing*
 

Svode

Take a Chance on Me
aa
Jul 31, 2016
166
471
Please tell me someone made a joke like *whips out banjo and starts playing*

I'm so confused between if people are talking about the song, the map, or the... um..
 

Tumby

aa
May 12, 2013
1,084
1,193
[10:06 PM] Seba: http://i.imgur.com/q7iyl3a.png what did he say
[10:07 PM] Howling Techie: Ah Fuck
[10:07 PM] ynders: heck me
[10:07 PM] chin: fuck me
[10:07 PM] phi: Holy Shit
[10:07 PM] chin: jesus christ
[10:07 PM] ynders: never forget
[10:07 PM] Yrrzy: god no
[10:07 PM] ynders: kill me
[10:08 PM] chin: no please
[10:08 PM] Howling Techie: Bastion OP
[10:08 PM] phi: I'm Gay
[10:08 PM] Yrrzy: whoops mistake
[10:08 PM] chin: Im gay lmao
[10:08 PM] Yrrzy: not worth
[10:08 PM] Jetamo: "Doesn't Work"
[10:08 PM] phi: Bury Me
[10:08 PM] ynders: no thanks
[10:09 PM] Jetamo: are we suddenly playing quiplash
[10:09 PM] Tekku: "Cyka Blyat"
[10:09 PM] ynders: rush b
[10:09 PM] chin: no stop
[10:09 PM] Tekku: "Fuck @chin"
[10:09 PM] Seba: give ayveepee
[10:09 PM] chin: https://cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/231835537684561921.png
[10:09 PM] Yrrzy: wrong sister

EDIT: I should have probably changed the [at]chin thing. oh well
 

Svode

Take a Chance on Me
aa
Jul 31, 2016
166
471
Erk: can I print myself some friends with one of those printing doohickies
Blank: no
Erk: oh
 

Crowbar

Spiritual preprocessor
aa
Dec 19, 2015
1,455
1,297
Crowbar//read the 72 hr post: probably they do
Square: not doign any location based stuff
iiboharz #tf2jam: thank god
Crowbar//read the 72 hr post: dont quote me on that
Nuke-m: Waa..wa.it a second
Nuke-m: I just realised a flaw in my plan
Invalid nick entered chat.

Muddy @ Berry's: "dont quote me on that" -crowbar
 

Idolon

they/them
aa
Feb 7, 2008
2,105
6,106
[8:48 AM] Howling Techie: I just saw a porn gif and it was like homebrew porn or w/e it's called and one of the people in it had one of those security anklets on
[8:48 AM] Howling Techie: Stay classy
[9:24 AM] ido: "homebrew porn"
[9:25 AM] ido: thats more or less an accurate term
[9:25 AM] ido: but i just like the idea that you gotta
[9:25 AM] ido: jailbreak your genitals
[9:26 AM] Seba: be careful not to brick your dick
 

Hyperion

L16: Grid Member
aa
Jun 8, 2015
840
659
20.40 - UEAKCrash: my IQ dropped with shots
20.40 - Muddy @ Berry's: i still love how he tried to ping you by linking your youtube channel]
20.40 - Nuke-m: Diov more like Yoav

20.40 - UEAKCrash: and empty stomach
20.40 - Zahndar: http://imgur.com/a/vr5cx like this nuke
20.40 - Crowbar: did you have to take shots after the conversation

20.40 - UEAKCrash: but I'm drinking tacos now
 

Berry

resident homo
aa
Dec 27, 2012
1,056
1,898
20:49 - The Hotel Detective: I
20:49 - The Hotel Detective: HEARD
20:49 - The Hotel Detective: ANUS
20:49 - The Hotel Detective: TRUST ME
20:49 - (ツ) S>Unusual: you cant hear text Hotel
20:49 - The ANUS Detective: I WOULD KNOW
 

athena

L1: Registered
Jan 2, 2017
45
57
1:38 PM - Zahndar: that was probably me asg
1:38 PM - Zahndar: i delievered A LOT of beer to those aliens at watergate

1:38 PM - void~: yes
1:39 PM - Flamecat42: what if the aliens were an engineer all along
1:39 PM - Flamecat42: and he needed more beer for rancho relaxo

1:40 PM - Zahndar: and the real aliens are those guys turtling up at the top of the map?
1:40 PM - Flamecat42: yep

and a less funny one

1:43 PM - AsG_Alligator: time to deliver unknown fragments to the engineer im trying to unlock
1:43 PM - AsG_Alligator: Prof. Palin
1:43 PM - AsG_Alligator: or how most people call him
1:44 PM - AsG_Alligator: Prof. Pain in the Ass

1:44 PM - Zahndar: savage
1:44 PM - Flamecat42: Prof. Pro-fessional ass pain.

EDIT: got another one for y'all


3:54 PM - Flamecat42: what if robots got so smart they tried to fail the turing test so people would think they're dumber than they really are
3:54 PM - Flamecat42: :eek:

3:55 PM - LeSwordfish: beep boop, son
3:55 PM - Flamecat42: shit
3:55 PM - Flamecat42: the robots have invaded tf2maps.net
3:55 PM - Flamecat42: get your recaptcha fellas


 
Last edited:

Nuke

L4: Comfortable Member
Jul 5, 2016
163
115
When you just want to puzzle:

Nuke-m: lol nice question : "You are in the race. You just beated/bested last runner in it. What position in race are you on right now?"
Zahndar: hi berry
Nuke-m: Bi herry
Crowbar: 0bHERRY

Berry: 1st place?
Zahndar: 2nd last?
Berry: but then how were they in last place
Crowbar: yeah
Crowbar: cant
Nuke-m: 2nd from last is logical one but it's incorrect
Nuke-m: right answer is that it's impossible - you can't beat last runner, cause if you did, he wasn't last in the first place
Crowbar: yes
LeSwordfish: sure you can
LeSwordfish: win the race
RodionJenga: ok that's stupid
Berry: what if you lap them
LeSwordfish: you beat the last runner
Crowbar: lefish, "just"
LeSwordfish: you beat all the other runners too
RodionJenga: there's a difference between overall last and instantaneous last
Crowbar: like, just got in front of them
LeSwordfish: "just" as in "only recently happened"
Berry: what if you take out a big stick and beat them to death
LeSwordfish: not as in "only"
Berry: then you beat the last runner
Nuke-m: just as in "right right afyer"
Nuke-m: after&
Crowbar: i mean only recently beated as in, like
Crowbar: you were after but now are before them
Zahndar: is that how you run races berry?
Berry: yes
Zahndar: with a huge stick in your pocket
LeSwordfish: "you are in a race. you just kicked the last runner to death. what position are you in now"
LeSwordfish: "jail"
RodionJenga: there's always a huge stick in my pocket
Nuke-m: xddd
Berry: to be fair you're probably around last place if you're running around with big sticks
LeSwordfish: do you also speak softly
Crowbar: and they call you a racist
Nuke-m: Then bring Uzi
RodionJenga: or first if you're hitting people
Nuke-m: and shoot them to death
RodionJenga: nah man it's all about stick-beating
Nuke-m: stick beating the stick man with stick
Crowbar: do you know male racers pu patches on nipples when running so they dont get damaged because of rubbing on the shirt
Crowbar: put*
Crowbar: racers = runners
Crowbar: gah
RodionJenga: yes, i've heard that
Crowbar: might as well remove patches of other racers if you manage to do that on the run
RodionJenga: i mean it sounds ludicrous but i'm sure my nipples aren't the pointiest
RodionJenga: high enough pickpocket skill you can steal other runner's nipple shields
Crowbar: need that as a skill in fallout or sometinig
RodionJenga: it's akin to the slipping live grenades into pockets thing
Crowbar: stealing someones patch and watch them slowly and painfully die
RodionJenga: sounds legit
Zahndar: you just gotta crouch behind them for 100% chance to be able to steal their nipple patches
LeSwordfish: nipchafed to death
Nuke-m: this turned really dark
LeSwordfish: like one of those chinese tortures
Nuke-m: really fast
Crowbar: lol what lefish
Crowbar: tell me more
Zahndar: idk
Zahndar: this is less dark than kicking them to death probably
Crowbar: that sounds like a nice way of torturing
RodionJenga: i'm envisioning that meme where the person falls off the bike
LeSwordfish: water torture, bamboo torture, running in circles without nipplepatches torture
RodionJenga: ancient chinese nipplechafe torture
Crowbar: what about the Greek or whatever torture
RodionJenga: oh that's just a fancy word for sodomy
Crowbar: where the person is put inside a hollow bull statue of copper and fire is made under the bull
RodionJenga: oh that nvm
Nuke-m: this entire chat is forum worthy lel
RodionJenga: was that a common thing? or did it happen to like, one person
Berry: now hang on
Crowbar: also, now i get the lyrics of one song
Berry: a second ago you were talking about running races
Berry: now it's torture?
Nuke-m: read entire chat
RodionJenga: yeah read back, it made sense
Crowbar: "I was running in circles, I hurt myself"
Zahndar: dont read entire chat berry
Zahndar: its not worth it
Nuke-m: kek
[5]VBot: oh for gods sake, dont say kek, what are you 12
Berry: you know that's there to discourage you from saying kek
RodionJenga: tl;dr running without protection can make you bleed

Now we can cut this out of context:

LeSwordfish on topic of punishing cheaters on TF2M servers: "water torture, bamboo torture, running in circles without nipplepatches torture"
In response, TF2M members: "that sounds like a nice way of torturing" and "oh that's just a fancy word for sodomy".