2014 Strange Festive Guesses

EArkham

Necromancer
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Aug 14, 2009
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Sorry for doing the lame "guess what festive stranges" thing, but I wanted this written down somewhere so I could see how many (if any) I get correct. Every year, I always spend too much time thinking about what strange festives we'll see.

The existing ones we have:

Scout - 2 primaries, 2 melees
Soldier - 2 primaries, 1 secondary
Pyro - 1 primary, 1 secondary, 1 melee
Demo - 1 primary, 1 secondary, 1 melee
Heavy - 1 primary, 1 secondary, 1 melee
Engineer - 1 primary, 1 secondary, 1 melee
Medic - 1 primary, 1 secondary, 1 melee
Sniper - 2 primaries, 1 secondary
Spy - 1 primary, 1 melee, 1 PDA

Based on those slots, I'd expect the following:

Scout - secondary
Soldier - melee
Pyro - primary
Demo - primary or secondary
Heavy - primary
Engineer - primary
Medic - secondary
Spy - primary or melee

This does assume that they'd want to more or less evenly distribute primary/secondary/melee festives.

Scout recently got a Mad Milk in the form of Mutated Milk, so I'd expect one of the pistol variants or the Flying Guilotine.

Soldier has no melees, so I'm confident they'll fix that this year. Either Escape Plan or Displinary Action. Though they could give us a loser weapon in the form of a festive default shovel.

Pyro is evenly distributed, but since most classes get more primaries than other slots, I'd say Degreaser or Backburner.

Demo is also evenly distibuted, but both stickies and pills can be considered main weapons for him. I'd say Loose Cannon or Loch'n'Load.

Heavy's similar to above. Lot of primary miniguns to pick from, but I think either the Tomislav or the Huo-Long Heater.

I don't really see them doing a multiclass shotgun (as much as I'd love that), so for Engineer, I feel like Rescue Ranger or Widowmaker are the best bets.

Medic's main focus is healing, so if it's not a medigun, I'd be surprised. Kritzkreig seems unlikely due to the existing strange one, so I'd say Quick Fix or Vaccinator.

Sniper also is overdue for a melee. I'm guessing stock Kukri or Bushwacka.

Spy is a bit of a wildcard. Backstabbing is of course his focus, but the only reasonable choice would be Your Eternal Reward or Kunai (Spycicle is already effectively a "festive"). Stock Revolver or Enforcer are also strong possibilities. All things being equal, I think they'd default to stock over unlocks in this case.

Overall, I also feel they're less likely to pick multi-class weapons over single class ones, so shotguns and pistols don't feel likely to me.

So in summary, my picks for Festives 2014:

  • Scout - Flying Guilotine
  • Soldier - Escape Plan
  • Pyro - Degreaser
  • Demo - Loose Cannon
  • Heavy - Tomislav
  • Engineer - Rescue Ranger
  • Medic - Quick Fix
  • Sniper - Kukri
  • Spy - Revolver
 

Berry

resident homo
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Dec 27, 2012
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I'm just gonna go in head over heels and say these as my hopes/guesses:
Scout: Soda Popper
Soldier: Escape plan as said, or direct hit maybe?
Pyro: Detonator? Degreaser?
Demoman: Targe or splendid screen
Heavy: Brass beast?
Engineer: Short circuit? Gunslinger?
Medic: Quick fix or amputator
Sniper: SMG or bushwacka?
Spy: YER, dead ringer?
 
Sep 19, 2010
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499
Actually made a video on this recently, but I'll post what I guessed.

Scout: Mad Milk
Soldier: Market Gardener
Pyro: Backburner
Demo: Chargin' Targe
Heavy: Brass Beast
Engineer: Gunslinger
Medic: Kritzkrieg
Sniper: Bushwacka
Spy: Deadringer

On Scout, I'm on the fence with Mad Milk and Bonk, but I'm rooting for Mad Milk because I use it more than anything (except the pistol). I also bet my entire backpack on the Scout getting a festive Mad Milk or Bonk, so I'm really pulling for one of those haha.
 

Shogun

L6: Sharp Member
Jan 31, 2014
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I'm going to be a negative Nancy and guess that we won't get any new strange festives this year. I'm thinking Valve will want to do something different instead.
 

Kube

Not the correct way to make lasagna
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Aug 31, 2014
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I'm going to be a negative Nancy and guess that we won't get any new strange festives this year. I'm thinking Valve will want to do something different instead.

You do have a point. Something seems a bit off about this year's crates being reskins of old ones. For most players, it's insignificant enough to be passed over without a second thought. But for those of us who choose to delve deeper...

HL3 Confirmed.
 

Shogun

L6: Sharp Member
Jan 31, 2014
260
220
You do have a point. Something seems a bit off about this year's crates being reskins of old ones. For most players, it's insignificant enough to be passed over without a second thought. But for those of us who choose to delve deeper...

Why does no one seem to remember that Valve reskinned the 2011 winter crates as the 2012 winter crates? This isn't the first time they've done it, it's not like they don't care. Valve has to stop releasing festive weapons at some point, you're only going to have a smaller weapon pool to choose from every year. Eventually you'll get down to the weapons no one ever uses and it's just a waste of time and resources to release those as festives.
 

Kube

Not the correct way to make lasagna
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Aug 31, 2014
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Why does no one seem to remember that Valve reskinned the 2011 winter crates as the 2012 winter crates?.

Oops, they did? OK, HL3 unconfirmed.
 
Sep 19, 2010
475
499
Why does no one seem to remember that Valve reskinned the 2011 winter crates as the 2012 winter crates? This isn't the first time they've done it, it's not like they don't care. Valve has to stop releasing festive weapons at some point, you're only going to have a smaller weapon pool to choose from every year. Eventually you'll get down to the weapons no one ever uses and it's just a waste of time and resources to release those as festives.
According to this snippet on the wiki there are currently 135 unique weapons in the game. At a rate of 9 festives per year, we've still got a little bit of time. Of course, like you said, eventually they'll start being weapons people don't use as often, but as long as people continue to buy the keys for them, Valve will continue to make them.
 

Shogun

L6: Sharp Member
Jan 31, 2014
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220
That's true Grizzly, it is all about the money for Valve. Maybe they'll try strange festive hats eventually (I hope not).

If they do add festive weapons this year, here are my guesses:

Scout: Mad Milk
Soldier: Market Gardener
Pyro: Powerjack
Demoman: Loch n Load
Heavy: Tomislav
Engineer: Jag
Medic: Kritzkrieg (please!)
Sniper: Razorback
Spy: Revolver
I also hope valve goes light on the wrapping paper/candy canes/bells this year. I really like the style of the "first gen" festives where it was only lights. Some wrapping paper is all right, but stuff like the Festive Force a Nature and Festive Flare Gun are just plain garish in my opinion.