The death of Max Payne.

I just read something that made me so mad that I had to tell someone, and unfortunately everyone I would IM is currently offline.

So I get to post my rant here.

There are a couple games that I really like, games that I have played over and over again. One of which is Max Payne. I originally borrowed it from a friend, then bought it when it was only like $10. In any case, I really really liked the game.

So I was browsing the web and I noticed this: Max Payne: The first great video game movie?

I thought, "Hey! That could actually be really good" Then I started the reading the article.

Half-way down the first of three pages I started to get worried, they were saying that Max Payne was willingly taking the drug so that he could compete with the people he was fighting, Ok, so not a huge deal, I could maybe handle that. I continued on.

They start talking about Max Payne going to his partners funeral and a confrontation with the head boss (the Asir corp chick) in a limo. Ok, more discrepancies which had me aggravated, and I was starting to realize that it was not a Max Payne movie, but a movie influenced by Max Payne.

Then this.

Despite the murder and grief and face-slaps and life-or-death scuffles and jagged ambience of snowflake-sprinkled menace, Moore and Wahlberg have shot Max Payne to be broad, bloodless, teen-friendly...

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That is only when it starts to get good.

Just because it might be PG-13, doesn’t mean there won’t be action and excitement. I did a great scene with Mark in a building where a bomb has just activated the sprinkler system and we’re stalking each other in this weird kind of rain, guns drawn. It’s awesome! I tell ya, videogame movies get a bad rap, but this is gonna blow that stereotype right out of the water!”

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Ok, several things here, "be PG-13" is the first. The next is "bomb has just activated the sprinkler system" WTF, thats not even in the game!

“Well, I think you can have all of that without showing too much blood,” shrugs Wahlberg. “It’s just not needed. We didn’t want to make some big gorefest. As for sex, it just doesn’t work for the character. The bit you see in the trailer, where Olga Kurylenko is sprawled on Max’s bed... He turns her down, man! Oh yes. He turns a Bond girl down!

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So um yeah. At about the 1/2 point in the article I checked to see if the article was being sarcastic or was a complete joke. Sadly, it was not.