I read the link you gave, and it seems that the not working details are the water, elevators (useless now that I think about it), the rooms at the top and the small space in the control points, amirite?
Pick a standard gametype you like, and then study the existing maps of that gamemode. Try and aim for a similar scale and number of areas/routes. As I've said to people before, when you design a TF2 map, it needs to consist of well-defined areas connected by well-defined routes. Taking an empty box and then populating it with stuff doesn't work. Read this guide: http://forums.tf2maps.net/showthread.php?t=14594
Also, your first several maps will almost certainly be garbage; don't expect to reinvent the wheel your first week on the job.
Well, I looked at my other maps and got a conclusion: the first map is quite large (a CTF map); the second, useless stairs and small space (KOTH); and the fourth (another CP), since it's another test, don't have the need to describe it.
Should I upload the others?
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