Meet The Sniper's Novel

tf2.com

L13: Stunning Member
Jun 16, 2010
1,146
703
Books. Psh. Who cares, right? You're probably saying to yourself, "If I wanted to read, I wouldn't have already stopped reading this blog post." But what if we were to tell you that books are like hats for the inside of your head? And then while you're busy pondering that, what if we were to tell you that John Patrick Lowrie - voice of the Sniper and real life husband of the Administrator - has written a book? And that it's a science fiction epic called Dancing With Eternity. And that it's available now on Amazon! GO BUY IT! DON'T WAIT!

Did you buy it? Okay, now wait. Just practice reading by reading this sentence over and over until Dancing With Eternity arrives, and then move on to the next paragraph.

Now that you have your first book, you're probably poking at it with a pen, asking yourself, "what does it do?" Is it sitting there quietly doing absolutely nothing? Because that's what it does! So congratulations book lover, you've entered an exclusive club called literacy whose members include several U.S. Presidents and Margaret Atwood.

And that's not all. Once you're done reading this dystopian page turner (note: it will not actually turn its own pages), shut off your flashlight, climb out from under your bed, and get ready for the best part: This website will teach you how to turn every single one of Dancing With Eternity's 417 (probably sex-filled) pages into an awesome origami ninja hat. It's simple economics: You're trading one piece of paper for nearly 420 pieces of paper! Get in on this Ponzi scheme before John Patrick Lowry goes to prison!



Source: TF2.com
 

Rizz

L5: Dapper Member
Dec 18, 2009
210
21
Books. Psh. Who cares, right? You're probably saying to yourself, "If I wanted to read, I wouldn't have already stopped reading this blog post." But what if we were to tell you that books are like hats for the inside of your head? And then while you're busy pondering that, what if we were to tell you that John Patrick Lowrie - voice of the Sniper and real life husband of the Administrator - has written a book? And that it's a science fiction epic called Dancing With Eternity. And that it's available now on Amazon! GO BUY IT! DON'T WAIT!

Did you buy it? Okay, now wait. Just practice reading by reading this sentence over and over until Dancing With Eternity arrives, and then move on to the next paragraph.

Now that you have your first book, you're probably poking at it with a pen, asking yourself, "what does it do?" Is it sitting there quietly doing absolutely nothing? Because that's what it does! So congratulations book lover, you've entered an exclusive club called literacy whose members include several U.S. Presidents and Margaret Atwood.

And that's not all. Once you're done reading this dystopian page turner (note: it will not actually turn its own pages), shut off your flashlight, climb out from under your bed, and get ready for the best part: This website will teach you how to turn every single one of Dancing With Eternity's 417 (probably sex-filled) pages into an awesome origami ninja hat. It's simple economics: You're trading one piece of paper for nearly 420 pieces of paper! Get in on this Ponzi scheme before John Patrick Lowry goes to prison!



Source: TF2.com

If you mean by "origami hats" by ripping each virtual piece of paper in TF2 out and while still in game, making them into hats, I'm in!

Pssh... who reads those things called books anymore? I think my mom does and she's 40+.
 

Ravidge

Grand Vizier
aa
May 14, 2008
1,544
2,818
A audiobook would be great (read by the author obviously). It should begin with "Here's a touching story..."
 

Goombac

L4: Comfortable Member
Mar 27, 2010
172
84
But an audiobook means no paper. And no paper means no hats. And no hats means...OH GAWD WHAT HAVE I DONE.
 

Fruity Snacks

Creator of blackholes & memes. Destroyer of forums
aa
Sep 5, 2010
6,394
5,571
I thought they meant there was a novel based on meet the sniper... oh well :mellow:

I would actually read that...

But then we'd be waiting 10 years for the final installation... "Farenheit 451: The Pyro Chronicles"
Outlining the life of the Pyro, and his love of censorship. Hence why no one can understand him.


EDIT: Actually. Thats not a bad idea...
 
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