Tell Your Favorite Joke
- Thread starter Dark
- Start date
- May 21, 2009
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Tinker
aa
- Oct 30, 2008
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A priest and a hunter walk through the woods. The hunter sees a rabbit, aim, shoots, and misses.
"God dammit, I missed!" says the hunter.
Says the priest; "You shall not use the Lord's name in vain, or he will smite you."
They walk on, and see an elk. The hunter aims, shoots, and misses.
"God dammit, I missed!" says the hunter.
Says the priest; "You shall not use the Lord's name in vain, or he will smite you."
They walk on, and see an elephant. The hunter aims, shoots, and misses.
"God dammit, I missed!" says the hunter.
Says the priest; "You shall not use the Lord's name in vain, or he will smite you."
A gigantic lightning crosses the sky and hits the priest, who drops dead instantly.
Says God: "God dammit, I missed!"
"God dammit, I missed!" says the hunter.
Says the priest; "You shall not use the Lord's name in vain, or he will smite you."
They walk on, and see an elk. The hunter aims, shoots, and misses.
"God dammit, I missed!" says the hunter.
Says the priest; "You shall not use the Lord's name in vain, or he will smite you."
They walk on, and see an elephant. The hunter aims, shoots, and misses.
"God dammit, I missed!" says the hunter.
Says the priest; "You shall not use the Lord's name in vain, or he will smite you."
A gigantic lightning crosses the sky and hits the priest, who drops dead instantly.
Says God: "God dammit, I missed!"
Bermuda Cake
L9: Fashionable Member
- Feb 20, 2009
- 679
- 480
My uncle used to call nuns eagles. When I asked him why he said "because they're birds of pray".
Nitram
L2: Junior Member
- Jul 3, 2010
- 91
- 32
The Gentlemanne
L4: Comfortable Member
- Jun 18, 2009
- 170
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Biggus Dickus.
What takes two people, a long period of close, physical contact, and a climax leaving them feeling invincible?
An ubercharge.
An ubercharge.
redcommunism
L2: Junior Member
- Feb 13, 2010
- 57
- 12
What did the leper say to the hooker? "you can keep the tip"
What do you do when an elephant comes in the room? you swim. (think, think...)
What do you do when an elephant comes in the room? you swim. (think, think...)
lucky
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- May 25, 2009
- 583
- 145
But only the elephants have trunks..
- Apr 29, 2008
- 1,068
- 709
A man comes home, slams the front door and runs through the house to his wife. Upon finding her he yells ecstatically, "Quick, quick, I've won the lottery, pack your bags!"
Obviously when she hears this she happily runs upstairs to start packing. Five minutes later she comes back and says "Honey, I don't know where we're going so I don't know what to pack."
To which he replies "I don't care just get the hell out of my house."
Obviously when she hears this she happily runs upstairs to start packing. Five minutes later she comes back and says "Honey, I don't know where we're going so I don't know what to pack."
To which he replies "I don't care just get the hell out of my house."
Last edited:
Jakkarra
L4: Comfortable Member
- Aug 26, 2009
- 167
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Man and Woman go to Party of friend, leaving tiny children in care of Caretaker. When at party, Caretaker telephones Parents, asking them if he is able to cover the clown statue in Children's bedroom, as it is frightening the Children.
Parents laugh, "Foolish Caretaker, we do not have clown statue!"
Caretaker and children found dead in the morning, parents rejoice, Weak caretaker and Frightened children not true soviets.
Parents laugh, "Foolish Caretaker, we do not have clown statue!"
Caretaker and children found dead in the morning, parents rejoice, Weak caretaker and Frightened children not true soviets.
Ankh
L3: Member
- Sep 18, 2008
- 114
- 41
What's big, blue and if it falls out of a tree and hits you, it will kill you?
The pacific Ocean.
Bonus: Which is the odd one out, out of a tomato and a pumpkin?
The lemon because it was the only one I didn't mention.
Most jokes I actually like require context or setups that I can't be bothered reciting here.
The pacific Ocean.
Bonus: Which is the odd one out, out of a tomato and a pumpkin?
The lemon because it was the only one I didn't mention.
Most jokes I actually like require context or setups that I can't be bothered reciting here.
Ginger
L4: Comfortable Member
- Jun 29, 2010
- 151
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pwnt
Tinker
aa
- Oct 30, 2008
- 672
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A man goes into a pub, carrying an alligator under one arm and puts it down on the table.
And he says: "I've got a trick. I bet there's no one here who is prepared to do this."
He opens the alligator's mouth and reveals his genitals, which he places therein. And then he brings down his hand on the alligator's head real hard.
He blinks a little while and then he says: "Is there anyone here prepared to do that?"
There's a long pause, and then an old lady at the back of the pub gets up and says: "I don't mind giving it a try, but you mustn't hit me so hard on the head."
And he says: "I've got a trick. I bet there's no one here who is prepared to do this."
He opens the alligator's mouth and reveals his genitals, which he places therein. And then he brings down his hand on the alligator's head real hard.
He blinks a little while and then he says: "Is there anyone here prepared to do that?"
There's a long pause, and then an old lady at the back of the pub gets up and says: "I don't mind giving it a try, but you mustn't hit me so hard on the head."
Pooluke41
L5: Dapper Member
- Feb 24, 2010
- 203
- 30
A Man and His wife are Driving through the Welsh Countryside when they came across a Roadsign, Which Read "Llanfairtfmappingcomasdlllanywscaerdy"
The Husband Tries To Read it and His Wife Starts Laughing,The Husband he Gets annoyed ands the Word Becomes An Arguement It Carries on Even into the Restaurant they Go Into, and So the Wife asks the Cashier what the Name of this Place is , She Rolls Here Eyes and Looks Forwards and Says...... Lllliiiiiittttttlllllleeeee Chhhhheeeeeeffffffff..
The Husband Tries To Read it and His Wife Starts Laughing,The Husband he Gets annoyed ands the Word Becomes An Arguement It Carries on Even into the Restaurant they Go Into, and So the Wife asks the Cashier what the Name of this Place is , She Rolls Here Eyes and Looks Forwards and Says...... Lllliiiiiittttttlllllleeeee Chhhhheeeeeeffffffff..
- Sep 12, 2008
- 1,272
- 1,141
I Don't Think I Get It. Also, Capital Letters Lol.