Steam roller - the woodchipper is likely to get jammed after just your ankles.
Having all your fingernails pulled off one by one then having your hands dipped in vinegar Vs having your eyelids cut off and then rock salt being thrown at your face
Hmm, I will have to go with the fingernails, more painful in the short run, but not mutilating for life.
As for the woodchipper jamming, you obviously have not seen a real woodchipper, I have seen workers feeding 20 inch logs into a big road work woodchipper and it just eats them up no problem. Actually, I grabbed that from a news article, apparently someone got fed through a woodchipper and they somehow managed to ID the person (I think it was from their teeth, or jaw, or maybe a finger, cant really remember.) actually, this might have all been the basis for a TV show. Hell, I dont remember. Point is it was awesome.
Sticking a pencil covered in super glue up your nose vs. glueing your hands together with superglue.